The evidence is apparent. The new Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Character being announced during the 2020 Game Awards will be Jonesy. Fortnite is the biggest game in the world right now, and Nintendo would be lucky to have a representative within their game. Like Steve before him, Jonesy will bring a modern hit into the world of Super Smash Brothers.
What Evidence Supports This Conclusion?
There are countless rumors suggesting that Metroid Prime’s Samus Aran will be coming to Fortnite. This rumor could be coming to a close today. Epic Games is expected to make an announcement regarding season 5 of Fortnite during the Game Awards. What better way can Nintendo return the favor by adding Jonesy into Super Smash Brothers. If Nintendo and Epic Games join forces to make complementary major reveals at the Game Awards, this would be a major win for both companies.
How Would This New Super Smash Brothers Ultimate Character Play?
Jonesy’s moveset writes itself. His standard-special could be similar to Steve’s. He could build upwards, creating protection or just an object to ascent on. His recovery (AKA up-special) could either be paragliding or a grappling hook. Alternatively the grappling hook could be his throw, and also a tether recovery. His side-special could be shooting a powerful shotgun blast, or type of gun. Lastly his down-special could be planting a spike trap or explosive.
As for a final smash, Jonesy could summon upon the storm itself. In the cinematic attack it could show Jonesy gliding away, leaving all other players in the wake of the storm. This only further cements Jonesy as a fitting character to join the brawl.
What do you think of this crushing evidence? Do you think we will see Jonesy join the fray tonight? Let us know in the comments.
There is a lot of hype surrounding Marvel’s latest Spider-Man 3, but this news takes the cake. Chris Rock will be reprising his role as Osmosis Jones in Spider-Man 3. Whether the multiverse is responsible for explaining this or not, everyone is excited to see him return. ‘Osmosis Jones’ is a classic, and fans have been waiting to see characters from the film return. With Osmosis Jones back in action, nothing can stop this movie from being a massive blockbuster, not even Tom Holland’s little slip that delayed production.
What Does Spider-Man 3 Have To Do With Osmosis Jones?
Spider-Man 3 has everything to do with Osmosis Jones. The movie is looking to have some major star power, and we can expect to see countless classic characters return. Osmosis Jones is probably the most hyped up role to date. Seeing Alfred Monlina return as Doc Ock is exciting, but the return of Osmosis Jones is just the real news here. Doc Ock is supposed to be dead. It makes sense why we haven’t seen him return to the big screen, but Osmosis Jones’ return has been long awaited. Some battles Peter Parker can’t win. Even three Peter Parkers can’t take down the Sinister Six, but with some help from Osmosis Jones, this becomes a fair battle. The Spider-Men can fight the villains externally, but Osmosis Jones can hit them where it really counts, on the inside.
Is This Even Real?
We are confident on the return of Osmosis Jones. Besides it just making sense entirely, it seems that all of Twitter is hyping up his return. There is no way this hype can be ignored. Even if Osmosis Jones wasn’t originally intended to be in the film, there is no way the studio will ignore this hype. A year ago it seemed impossible to see three Spider-Men share the screen, so anything is possible now.
What do you think about Chris Rock reprising his role as Osmosis Jones in Spider-Man 3? Does this seem random, or does it seem absolutely necessary? Let us know in the comments.
Aliens are real, and apparently they cannot get enough of human television. The Galactic Federation finally made contact with the Earth, but not for the reasons that one would expect. However, they have no intentions of involving themselves in human affairs. The aliens are exclusively into human entertainment. They are particularly interested in the show ‘How It’s Made’. This hilarious program showcases how humans create certain products. The aliens also enjoy HGTV shows such as ‘Property Brothers’ and ‘Love It Or List It’.
So Why Do Aliens Love ‘How It’s Made’ So Freaking Much?
While aliens don’t seem interested in human products themselves, they sure are interested in how we make them. To extra-terrestrials, this show is more of a comedy than it is informative. They gather around with their friends and watch as humans inefficiently create goods. It is basically a giant roast session. Apparently the human race is incredibly behind these advanced species of extra-terrestrial. This makes for entertaining television for them.
Why Does The Galactic Federation Want Nothing To Do With Earth?
Can you blame them? The Earth is full of drama. Current residents with similar traits and interests can’t get along, so it is unlikely that aliens have much faith in us. Aliens are much classier than Earthlings. Our scandalous and shameless television is exceptionally interesting for them. It is the type of low-brow comedy that no alien has the lack of respect to create. Humans are the only species in the galaxy that make celebrities out of horrible role models. Aliens get a huge kick out of this backward concept.
Does This Have Anything To Do With The Monoliths?
The aliens were not responsible for the monoliths popping up all over the Earth. This was the work of Nintendo. The event was a huge publicity stunt to hype up a new game. The game is expected to be revealed during the 2020 Game Awards. The stunt was controversial and exciting, but some were disappointed that extra-terrestrials were not responsible.
What do you think about aliens existing? Do you think they sound a little bit judgmental? Let us know in the comments.
Kirby Star Allies has added a ton of content since the game’s initial release date. The newest addition to the game is the most shocking to date. The Kirby series is not new to hosting demonic and demented boss characters, but now Kirby Star Allies is raising the bar. The new character is more terrifying than even 02 from Kirby and the Crystal Shards. In early 2021, Kirby will be meeting Satan himself.
How Did He Manage To Appear In Kirby Star Allies?
Satan has been making big waves lately. From starring in the new Match.com commercial, to becoming a fan favorite on South Park, Satan has become a house hold name. His star power is apparent, but will this charm carry over to the world of gaming? It is possible Satan is only just now starting his promising career in gaming.
Wasn’t Satan Already In A Video Game?
There has been video games that portrayed Satan such as the Diablo series, Cuphead, and South Park, but Satan has never starred in a video game as a playable protagonist. This will be Satan’s first time appearing in a child friendly game. Hopefully the children embrace their new dark overlord friend, and accept him into their hearts.
What Is Next For Satan?
Satan is a huge Nintendo fan, and he hopes that this opportunity will allow him to appear in more video game franchises. When asked about his gaming preferences, Satan said “I have always been more of an Animal Crossing guy. When it came down to Animal Crossing Vs. Doom Eternal, I knew I had to go with New Horizons. I don’t get to socialize much down in hell. I always have to keep a straight face and rule with an iron fist. Animal Crossing is my outlet to just relax. I can talk to cats and ducks and just have a good time. There is no fire on my island, there is only good times”. It sounds like Satan is the perfect fit for a Kirby game after all.
What do you think about this new Kirby character? Are you excited to play as Satan? Let us know in the comments.
Crazy Frog is back and about time too. His Twitter account has recently become active again, which sparked fan speculation all across the globe. Is he planning a comeback? Is a new album on the horizon? Or is he just planning on launching an Onlyfans? No one knows for sure, but one thing is definitely for sure. Crazy Frog’s penis is now bigger than ever.
How Big Has His Penis Become?
Crazy Frog’s penis has grown exponentially since he was last seen. Research suggests that this could be the most horrifying amount of growth ever seen. Crazy Frog is famous for ruining childhoods, and now he is even more horrifying. This penis isn’t just scary, it is intimating. Imagine trying to watch a nice music video about a frog that makes crazy noises, but then a giant penis stretches across your computer screen. This is the stuff of nightmares. He will likely be more famous than ever, but at what cost?
Why Is Crazy Frog Making A Come Back?
Nothing sells more during the holidays than Crazy Frog records. Whether the purchase is for comedic purposes, or for someone with an unfortunate taste in music, his music makes for the perfect gift. It makes a ton of sense for him to make his return during the holiday season. We will likely see a new music video in the near future, and we will likely see his extra large penis within this music video.
Why Did Crazy Frog Ever Disappear From Mainstream Media?
Crazy Frog was the first celebrity to get canceled. The world just wasn’t ready for his penis. Some people are still traumatized to this day over seeing his penis back in 2006, even while in its smaller form. The internet today is a darker place. While you would think it would be easier than ever to get canceled, it seems that he will be able to find a niche audience that appreciates such content.
What do you think about Crazy Frog’s return? Are you excited? Do you wish his penis wasn’t quite so large? Let us know in the comments.
For weeks now steel monoliths have been popping up around the globe. No one knows what it means or where they are coming from. It now seems that this could all be a publicity stunt from Nintendo. Monolith Soft are a developer for Nintendo that have worked on the Xenoblade games and helped with The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. It cannot be a coincidence that the monoliths have appeared within Xenoblade Chronicles and Breath of the Wild respectively. Nintendo is about to announce something huge.
How Are The Monoliths Linked To A Monolith Soft Game?
There are rumors that Monolith Soft is working on a game for the Nintendo Switch. It is possible that Nintendo is starting the advertisement campaign for their first big game of 2021. The theory just makes sense. Monolith is in the name of the developer. There is not much information regarding the game. It is unknown if the game with be part of the Xenoblade series, the Legend of Zelda series, or an entirely new IP. This is definitely Nintendo’s biggest publicity stunt to date though, so the game must be glorious.
How Do We Know That This Isn’t A Coincidence?
The Breath of the Wild and Xenoblade Chronicles are several years old. To see monoliths popping up in this older games is enough evidence for us. It cannot be a coincidence that these monoliths started popping up in older games the same time they started popping up in the real world. The monoliths also popped up in Super Mario Odyssey. It seems like Nintendo is willing to advertise for this new game within all of their biggest games. The monolith is expected to pop up in Pikmin 3 Deluxe next.
What do you think of this publicity stunt? Do you think that it is fun or harmless? Or do you believe that Nintendo was irresponsible and may have frightened people. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Today’s episode of Celebrity Dungeon features footage from our exclusive interview with Taylor Lautner. The following footage was capturing during Taylor’s visit into our celebrity dungeon located in the basement of the Realible World News Headquarters. Hold onto your seats, Taylor has some incredible opinions on Sharkboy, werewolves, and crabs. The video and transcript can be found below.
Celebrity Dungeon Episode 2: Sharkboy, Werewolves, and Crabs Transcript
Dr. Williams: Hello Taylor. Thank you for joining us today. Make yourself at home, and please ignore the screams throughout these halls.
Taylor Lautner: I basically made a career out of ignoring screaming fan girls. This should be easy for me.
Dr. Williams: *Chuckles* Charming little devil are you. So anyways, I will let you vent shortly, but I would like to start by asking you a serious question.
Taylor Lautner: Anything. Go for it.
Dr. Williams: What did it feel like when Kanye ruined your moment at the 2009 MTV Music Awards.
Taylor Lautner: That wasn’t me… That was Taylor Swift. She is one of my ex girlfriends actually.
Dr. Williams: I too like to imagine myself as a girl and then also imagine myself dating myself. I understand you completely. Okay I will let you take the floor now. What did you want to talk about today?
How Losing Shark Boy Ruined His Life
Taylor Lautner: I just needed someone to vent to. I heard you were the right doctor for the job.
Dr. Williams: Sure thing. I can listen. I usually charge $200 an hour, but for you, I will only charge $180.
Taylor Lautner: Okay… I will assume that was a joke. But yeah, I wanted to talk about that new movie with Shark Boy in it. I was disgusted when I saw the promotion. How can someone else be Shark Boy? I have been method acting for 15 years to play the role. There is no Taylor Lautner anymore, only Shark Boy remains.
Dr. Williams: Wow. I assumed you were ashamed of that role. Are you trying to tell me that Shark Boy was really your muse and your reason to live?
Taylor Lautner: Yes. Yes I am. Shark Boy is the reason I wake up in the morning. I have been waiting my whole life for a second shot at the role, and now the time finally comes and it is ripped away from me.
Why Wasn’t Taylor Lautner Invited Back?
Dr. Williams: Wow. You really needed this huh? So what happened Taylor? Why didn’t Robert Rodriguez bring you back? What did you do? Is he not a fan of your music?
Taylor Lautner: I didn’t expect to be victim blamed for coming here today, but okay. Also, once again, I do not make music. Maybe I should though? Anyways, I am not sure why Robert didn’t hit me back up. Perhaps he got sick of me always pestering him to make a sequel. I must admit, I became a bit obsessed. On Christmas of last year I sent him a Christmas card of me dressed up as Shark Boy. I thought he would find it charming, but instead he asked me to leave him alone.
Dr. Williams: It almost sounds like he is bringing Shark Boy back just to spite you.
Taylor Lautner’s Future Plans
Taylor Lautner: That’s what I thought! I hope this movie bombs. I can be petty too. Maybe I will release music. I will make a new song about Max sleeping. It will be uncensored. No more “little bleeps”. I am going to call him a little [Redacted] as always intended.
Dr. Williams: Yikes. We will have to censor that. Saying that word could get us cancelled. I do like your enthusiasm though. Take on a new identity. Shark Boy isn’t Shark Boy because he was written to be. Shark Boy is Shark Boy because you made him that way. Your acting brought him to life. No one can take that from you. Take this passion and turn it into a whole new super hero.
Taylor Lautner: Wow that was inspiring. Thank you Dr. Williams. You really are the best at what you do. Call me Crab Man from here on out. I will become my own super hero. The one I always imagined.
Dr. Williams: Sure thing Crab Man. See I am already starting!
Crab Man: *Laughs for 7 minutes* You crack me up Dr. Williams. You always know what to say.
Dr. Williams: Go spread your crabs around Crab Man! The world will know you soon enough.
Crab Man: *Laughs for another 7 minutes* That is why I wasn’t invited back! I spread my crabs around the set of Twilight. You know me so well.
Dr. Williams: Well now I sure do! Take it easy Crab Man. We will see you next time.
Wow! Was that an interview or a therapy session? What did you think of our exclusive interview with Taylor Lautner? Comment down below and let us know who we should interview next. See you next time.
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For the Weekly Broadcast of December 4th, we report on the secret origin of pugs, Smosh finally joining in holy matrimony, and Disneyland’s new status as a strip club.
What exactly are Pugs? Previously it was believed that they are a breed of dog. New data suggests that Pugs are actually aliens from space. No one knows how or when they got on Earth. Most people accept them and love them for what they are. It is unknown how humans will respond to the fact that Pugs are aliens.
Fans of Smosh were heartbroken when Anthony left the team. However, it appears like the dynamic duo will finally become one again, this time in holy matrimony. The sexual tension has always been there between Anthony and Ian. It’s been obvious that there is chemistry there. The looks they give each other, the cute remarks, it’s obvious.
Disneyland is doing a major rebranding. Disneyland will no longer be an amusement parks. Amusement parks are closed indefinitely. Disneyland will be following the lead of other businesses that are allowed to remain open. Disneyland will now be filed as a strip club. The news is shocking to some, but welcoming to most. Whatever it takes to reopen Disneyland.
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For the Weekly Broadcast of November 27th, we report on Joe Exotic’s Disturbed’s “Sick” new album, Kangaroos ravaging Australia, and Youtube’s hit duo Ryan and George.
Disturbed have been busy during lockdown. The band has announced that they have been secretly creating an album, and it is already completed. The album will be called ‘Down With The Virus’ and it will be exactly what it sounds like. Disturbed wanted to create an album that will act as a guidebook to the covid-19 pandemic.
Move over covid-19, we have a new big killer. This Furry Friday we will be discussing the ignored apex predator from down under. Research suggests that the biggest killer in 2020 is the Kangaroo. While this only holds true in Australia, it is frightening to think that this marsupial has killed more people than covid-19. How did such a formidable enemy go under the radar like this? The scary part is, this isn’t new. Kangaroos haven’t randomly started committing murder; they always have been.
Ryan and George have taken Youtube by storm. The pair are best recognized from their Screen Rant ‘Pitch Meetings‘ and their very own ‘The First Guy‘ series. Whether one discovered them through the Pitch Meetings or through their personal channel is irrelevant, as their content is hilarious on either channel. Ryan and George aren’t just twins, they are also co-workers. Ryan writes all of the scripts and George does the video editing. They collaborate very well by utilizing their separate but equally impressive skills.
For the Weekly Broadcast of November 20th, we report on World of Warcraft: Shadowlands best new feature, Naruto Live Action’s cast, Cup Head’s new DLC character, and Minecraft’s new movie.
World of Warcraft has never looked better. The Shadowlands expansion has completely overhauled the character customization. Not only has the game never looked better, but the characters have never looked better. The Shadowlands expansion was recently delayed in order for Blizzard to optimize the character creation tool. Blizzard reported that the characters just weren’t sexy enough, but now after some additional months of tuning, the wait has paid off. I find myself unable to keep my eyes off of the characters when playing.
A Naruto Live Action movie was announced in 2015. Since it’s announcement, Lionsgate gave very few details on the project. Until today, the only information we had was the logline “Naruto Uzumaki is a teenage ninja who dreams of becoming the community’s leader and protector by becoming the village ninja.” This certainly sounds like Naruto, but this is about as generic as it gets. Western live action adaptations have a bad reputation. For example, The Last Airbender and Dragonball Evolution are infamous for trashing the original material. Nonetheless, Hollywood is at it again. Here is the current, newly announced cast for the upcoming Naruto live action movie.
Cuphead has became a classic. The game went on to achieve major success on all major consoles, and now a Netflix series is in development. This type of success raises a lot of questions. What is next for the Cuphead franchise? Is Cuphead 2 on the horizon? As of now, the promised DLC, Cuphead’s ‘Delicious Last Course’ has not been released. A full sequel to the original game is unlikely to happen any time soon. The game’s DLC will need to release first. However, there is finally a development update regarding the highly anticipated downloadable content.
The Minecraft Live Action Movie was announced last year. In addition to this, Tom Holland is on fire. Which is surprising after his recent injury on set with Spiderman 2. Mojang was excited to announce this new movie, with an expected release in March 2022. The new Minecraft Live Action movie may be the biggest video game film of all time.
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