The Naked Neighbor Exposed: Here Is Why Every Neighborhood Has One

You know what they say. Every neighborhood has “The Naked Neighbor”. This is the person who just can’t seem to keep their clothes on. Typically this neighbor does keep their nudity to themselves, but unfortunately this same person is often forgetful. This means that they often forget to close blinds, keep away from windows, and they generally just forget they are naked at most times. Some sheltering mothers believe that naked neighbors can be damaging to communities, but there are far worse ways to lose your innocence. You know what else they say. If you don’t know who the naked neighbor is, then it is you! Now that we got that out of the way, this leads me to the big question. Why exactly does every single neighborhood have one? Does 1-in-20 people have a fear of clothing? Surprisingly, this question has a more logistical answer than one might expect, and it has to do with housing loans.

Why Every Neighborhood Has A “Naked Neighbor”

Did you know the naked neighbor doesn’t just run around nude for freeing purposes? Your naked neighbor isn’t defying the norms of society nor are they expressing their freedoms and body. No, they are playing an important role within your community. If a neighborhood has a naked neighbor, it often keeps housing costs lower, meaning middle-class and working-class families can continue to find affordable housing in quaint neighborhoods. The Naked Neighbors For Everyone community ( or NNFE) are passionate about their quest for lowering housing costs. In fact, they are so passionate about this mission, that the community will fund you to move to a neighborhood that is currently lacking in this department.

With a Naked Neighbor Housing Loan (or NNHL for short), the NNFE for short will assist you in your move. That’s right, you can get cheaper living all while enjoying the brisk and freeing feelings of nudity. The loan covers 50% of any qualifying down payment, and will even give a monthly allowance in order to help pay property taxes and mortgage payments. There is a catch though, you have to stay the naked neighbor if you want those monthly checks!

I bet you didn’t know that your naked neighbor played a bigger role in your community than you expected. Next time, put away the binoculars and take some time to thank this hero of your community. Leave some tasty treats at their door and give them a little privacy. It is in their contract to answer the door naked, but perhaps you can just give them this one. Everyone deserves a break sometimes.

Did this fact shock you? Are you going to apply for a NNHL funded by the NNFE? Let us know in the comments. Remember: If you don’t have a naked neighbor in your community, than it is you! Start getting paid for it!