For the Weekly Broadcast of December 4th, we report on the secret origin of pugs, Smosh finally joining in holy matrimony, and Disneyland’s new status as a strip club.
What exactly are Pugs? Previously it was believed that they are a breed of dog. New data suggests that Pugs are actually aliens from space. No one knows how or when they got on Earth. Most people accept them and love them for what they are. It is unknown how humans will respond to the fact that Pugs are aliens.
Fans of Smosh were heartbroken when Anthony left the team. However, it appears like the dynamic duo will finally become one again, this time in holy matrimony. The sexual tension has always been there between Anthony and Ian. It’s been obvious that there is chemistry there. The looks they give each other, the cute remarks, it’s obvious.
Disneyland is doing a major rebranding. Disneyland will no longer be an amusement parks. Amusement parks are closed indefinitely. Disneyland will be following the lead of other businesses that are allowed to remain open. Disneyland will now be filed as a strip club. The news is shocking to some, but welcoming to most. Whatever it takes to reopen Disneyland.
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For the Weekly Broadcast of October 30th, we report on the new Borat lawsuit from his craziest stunt yet, Dr. Fauci favorite sex positions, Minecraft Steve in Super Smash Bros, Amazon Prime Voting, and more.
This isn’t the first Borat lawsuit. Everyone loves and remembers Borat. Now with Borat 2 on the horizon, fans are even more excited. Let’s take a look at Borat’s antics from his first film. Some of which landed Sacha Baron Cohen, the actor and brains behind Borat, in legal trouble. Sacha Baron Cohen is taking his stunts to a new level for Borat 2. This film is being produced and released in the midst of a pandemic, but that hasn’t stopped Borat from harassing the public like never before. This new Borat lawsuit is caused by the hijacking of a school bus.
Dr. Fauci has said a lot throughout 2020. His professional opinion is highly respected. Now Dr. Fauci finally spills the beans. He just revealed the top 5 heathiest sexual positions of all time. This list contains details on the 5 best sexual position that he recommends.
For some odd reason, Steve’s meat has been removed from Super Smash Brothers Ultimate. The internet made some jokes about Steve’s victory screen. These were only jokes though. Fans joked about Steve’s victory pose because it looks as if he is holding his penis. In Minecraft, Steve can hold and eat meat to regain health. Steve was merely participating in a post battle meal, but the internet made a joke out of it. No one really thought this was Steve’s penis, but now Nintendo had the victory pose removed. This only makes it more suspicious. Why would Nintendo removed what was obviously Steve holding meat? Could it really have been his penis after all?
Have you ever been concerned about have a Disneyland Theme Park Character cover you in saliva droplets? Your fears are now over. Disneyland will now be forcing their Theme Park Characters to wear additional masks over their mouths. No one knows if the move is to physically stop viral contagions from transferring to others. It could be that the change is more metaphorical in nature.
The USPS has been useless for awhile. The service is often slow and unproductive. UPS and Amazon Prime have always delivered with urgency and came with great costumer service. The USPS is having trouble competing with the other delivery services. The government has funded the USPS since it’s inception. However, this funding is coming to an end. Americans are wondering how they will vote now, and Amazon has the answer. The company announced that an Amazon Prime subscription will now come with Prime-Voting.
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For the Weekly Broadcast of October 23rd, we discuss how you can never say this word, how Crazy Frog steal the innocence of children, a dangerous liberal agenda, and more.
My childhood was great except for Crazy Frog. I grew up with the internet at my fingertips. Almost like a babysitter, YouTube was my main source of entertainment. The hours I spent watching some of the early, popular YouTubers formed my taste is media. For example, Fred, Smosh, Nigahiga, sxephil, and more all had their mark on me. Sometimes their content had an adult joke that I didn’t fully understand. Nonetheless, I loved their videos. My childhood was great until one moment that I’ll never forget.
Chris Pratt exposed! Chris Pratt is a Christian role model in Hollywood. He is considered an icon for his traditional American ways, and his unique brand of publicly broadcasting his religion. Chris Pratt has no shame, which is why he got engaged merely minutes after divorcing his ex. wife. Many fans defend Pratt. They say that he can do whatever he wants after being a religious man. Other fans weren’t so forgiving. These fans saw through the rouse and realized one thing. Chris Pratt cheated on his wife the Christian way.
The libs are at it again. This time they are recommending murder. The liberal agenda suggest that the best way to make Trump lose is to literally steal his votes. Liberals say this can be achieved by killing older voters and committing voter fraud. The strategy sounds a bit immortal, but they guarantee it isn’t. In response to the controversy, one liberal said “You know what is immoral? Caging Kids. A wrong against the wrong makes a right. I am an expert on directions so I can confirm this is true”.
Everyone hates Disneyland lines. The park is chalk full of two and a half hour waits for a 3 minute ride. $120 dollars to walk in the heat and stand in lines. Hence, it’s no surprise this man adopted a physically disabled child. People with disabilities have major perks. Mainly, they skip lines at Disneyland. People drag their wheelchair bound friends and family members to the park. Disabled people are the perfect target. First, they can’t fight back. Second, as long as there is one disabled person, the entire group gets to skip the line. Why not take advantage of this opportunity?
Donald Trump has officially made an executive order to declare “honkey” the world’s first truly offensive word. The law makes the word objectively an offensive word. There has been a lot of debate on what makes a word offensive, but for the first time there is official word. Some have considered the move to be a form of pandering. Donald Trump seems to be hoping to secure the honkey vote by passing this executive order. Democrats are likely to try and appeal the executive order. They claim that honkey is too damn fun to say, and that the word never harmed anyone. Far right wing conservatives state this is another double standard created by the liberals.
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For the Weekly Broadcast of October 16th, we ask the question Who is Joji? We also discuss the Pixel 4a’s pornhub functionality, Barack Obama’s COVID-19 highlights, Disneyland, Avengers butts, and the Last of Us Part II.
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Links to the stories discussed in this episode can be found below:
Joji Is Filthy Frank? New Wild Internet Conspiracy Gains Traction
Joji is a major breakthrough artist that has achieved major success in a short amount of time. He is part of the musical collective group 88Rising, which achieved major success, having one of the most popular songs of the last summer. Joji’s sudden appearance has everyone asking where he came from. How can a random man in his early 20’s reach so much success so quickly? He has connections that no random people could, so who is Joji really? Joji was noticed soon after the disappearance of youtube icon Filthy Frank. This has conspiracy theorist thinking one thing. Are they the same person?
The PornHub app inevitably ends up being installed on all smart phone devices one way or another, but the Pixel 4A beats all others to the punch. Google has announced that the Pixel 4A will have the added convenience of having the PornHub app pre-installed on all devices. The progressive move has the world stunned, as porn will become more normalized than ever before.
Barack Obama has stayed in the public eye far passed his presidency. Today, he is practically a celebrity figure. His endorsements can sway politics. His lists of favorite movies, songs, and books can drive sales. Although he’s no longer a government figure, his words continue to carry great power. Recently he released his list of his favorite Lockdown Moments since the COVID-19 pandemic began!
In preparation for Disneyland’s reopening later this year, cast members are minimizing risk. Disney’s coronavirus response has faced huge criticisms. People are unhappy with Florida’s Disneyworld opening as coronavirus cases sky rocket. Although Disneyworld has socially distanced lines and rides, frequent cleaning, and limited occupancy, it is believed to have contributed to the pandemic. California is a virus hotspot, and Disneyland would surely contribute to the cases. Nonetheless, Disneyland builds toward an opening, and Disney’s coronavirus response takes surprising turns.
Pokémon has been a difficult concept for parents to grasp since its inception. Parents often ask retail employees for “Pokéman” or “Pocketmon” merchandise during the holiday season. Due to this, the popular multimedia franchise will drop that confusing accent from its name. The slight name change will increase profits drastically for Nintendo. Pokémon Sword and Shield is known to be a lazy game by the online community. Nintendo cites the Pokémon accent as the reason for cutting corners. The company believes that 35% of revenue is lost due to difficulty pronouncing the series name.
Avenger fans typically get along due to the fact that they already have so much in common. Recent gameplay footage of the new Marvel: Avengers game has fans divided though. The new gameplay shows exceptional footage of the characters’ rears. This has fans all asking the same question; which Avenger butt is best? The current analysis is that Hulk objectively has the nicest butt, but is it fair to let a gamma boosted booty take the crown? Black Widow fans declare that she has the nicest butt, and she earned it fair and square.
The reception to The Last of Us Part II has been mixed. Hardcore fans of the original game thought the sequel did a poor job continuing the legacy of the franchise. The characters, plot, and game play seems like it falls far below the expectations of the fans. Some people did enjoy the game, but the core, disgruntled fan base is unhappy. Strangely enough, there was one factor that united all players of the game. One surprise variable saved the reputation of The Last of Us Part II, among the casual gamer and the hardcore fan.
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Disneyland is doing a major rebranding. Disneyland will no longer be an amusement parks. Amusement parks are closed indefinitely. Disneyland will be following the lead of other businesses that are allowed to remain open. Disneyland will now be filed as a strip club. The news is shocking to some, but welcoming to most. Whatever it takes to reopen Disneyland.
What Do People Think About Strip Club Disney?
We asked a recently let go employee currently protesting outside of the Disneyland gates. The ex. employee said “I don’t care what Disneyland is on paper. The park is the happiest place on Earth. People don’t contract diseases at the happiest place on Earth. It is safe, and it should be open. If Disneyland has to file as a strip club to remain open, so be it. I will shamelessly go and support this decision”.
Others are not so happy. We asked a counter-protestor for their opinion. The Orange County local said “I am not taking my kids to a strip club. I understand many weird 20 to 30 years olds like going to Disneyland, but this isn’t okay. We can’t just call Disneyland a strip club. It is an amusement park. You can call a cow a duck, but it is still a cow. You can’t just change what Disneyland is”.
Why Did Disneyland Do This?
Bars and strip clubs have found many ways to stay open. Disneyland is just the latest attraction to jump on the bandwagon. Bars have to sell food to stay open, and Disneyland has to pretend not to be an amusement park. Both of these things seem silly, but the government is convinced it makes sense. No one knows if Disneyland will stay a strip club forever. At the moment this is just a temporary change to beat the system.
Have you ever been concerned about have a Disneyland Theme Park Character cover you in saliva droplets? Your fears are now over. Disneyland will now be forcing their Theme Park Characters to wear additional masks over their mouths. No one knows if the move is to physically stop viral contagions from transferring to others. It could be that the change is more metaphorical in nature. The metaphorical theory is that Disney hopes to get children will wear their masks. If their favorite characters are doing it, it could make it cool. It kind of makes sense, but it also just looks silly. Regardless, it just seems redundant to have masked people wearing masks.
Wouldn’t It Break The Immersion If The Mascots Acted Like There Wasn’t A Pandemic?
This could be a valid point, except Disney already pretends the world is better than it actually is. Disneyland is notorious for covered up deaths at the park, illnesses, or really any sort of controversy at all. Disneyland even tried opening up its gates during the middle of the pandemic. At this point, it is almost hypocritical to have anyone wear a mask at all. Disneyland has already made it clear they care about money more than lives. Also the Disneyland Theme Park Characters look suffocated under two layers of masks.
Why Do The Theme Park Characters Agree To Such Demands?
The Theme Park Characters are in no position to argue. Any employee that even speaks while in character immediately disappears. No one ever hears from these employees ever again. If they can’t even talk, how can they argue? The dots can easily be connected at this point. Disneyland flips and flops whenever it is convenient. Who knows what strange rules they will enforce next. I see a third layer of masks on the horizon.
Everyone hates Disneyland lines. The park is chalk full of two and a half hour waits for a 3 minute ride. $120 dollars to walk in the heat and stand in lines. Hence, it’s no surprise this man adopted a physically disabled child. People with disabilities have major perks. Mainly, they skip lines at Disneyland. People drag their wheelchair bound friends and family members to the park. Disabled people are the perfect target. First, they can’t fight back. Second, as long as there is one disabled person, the entire group gets to skip the line. Why not take advantage of this opportunity?
Disable Child Gets Adopted
One man from Brea, California loves Disneyland, but hates the lines. He cut in line whenever he could, but he constantly got caught. He knew there was one way to stop this inconvenience. After traveling to the nearest foster home, he located the most physically disabled child in the home. After confirming that these disabilities were permanent, he began the adoption paperwork. Due to his clean background and wholesome life, the adoption went through quickly. In fact, it was a suspiciously perfect adoption.
Soon after, this man began the best Disney days of his life. Similarly, the quality of life for the disabled child went up drastically. Therefore, this situation poses a major moral dilemma. The only reason he adopted this child was for shorter lines, yet this selfish choice helped the disabled child as well.
The mans wife was on board with adopting a child, but was unsure why her husband was so set on the child being physically disabled. After hearing her husband’s reasoning, she really got excited. They are thinking of adopting a second disabled child in case they split up at the park and want to go on different rides. What is your opinion? Would you adopt a physically disabled child for shorter lines?
In preparation for Disneyland’s reopening later this year, cast members are minimizing risk. Disney’s coronavirus response has faced huge criticisms. People are unhappy with Florida’s Disneyworld opening as coronavirus cases sky rocket. Although Disneyworld has socially distanced lines and rides, frequent cleaning, and limited occupancy, it is believed to have contributed to the pandemic. California is a virus hotspot, and Disneyland would surely contribute to the cases. Nonetheless, Disneyland builds toward an opening, and Disney’s coronavirus response takes surprising turns.
Disney’s Coronavirus Response
It’s A Small World is one of Disneyland’s longest lasting rides. Disney fans know this ride by heart. Your boat takes you on a peaceful ride around the world. As your boat crawls through the ride, you travel to Europe, Asia, South America, the South Pacific, and back home to good ol’ United States of America. This ride opened in 1966, and has had few changes since. Disney’s Coronavirus Response brings the a major addition to It’s A Small World.
On the ride, there will be a real time coronavirus death tolls for each country you pass through. They will use statistics from the World Health Organization to make sure their numbers are up to date and accurate. What seems like a morbid addition to an otherwise happy ride could bring to light how dangerous this virus really is. Disney will not let park goers forget the devastating aftermath of this pandemic.
Another addition to the park is large COVID-19 virus particles that will float around the Pixie Hollow area. Since the scenery in Pixie Hollow grows to give the illusion of being fairy sized, the COVID-19 particles will be to the same, massive scale Disney hopes that the realization of how easily this virus could consume Tinker Bell will finally force people to take it seriously. Disney’s coronavirus response shows that this company is willing to go above and beyond to make their parks safe.