Menu

realible news

Capitol Raid

Trump Promises Free Burgers To Anyone Who Raids The Capitol

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0

The world laughed at Donald Trump after his last ditch effort to rally his fans. The soon-to-be former President of the United States promised free ham burgers to anyone who would storm the capitol. The hamburger would not include cheese, and a drink would cost extra. What no one expected was the turn out for this deal. Despite having minimal gains from this raid, an audience showed up. Fortunately for Donald Trump, there are tons of rednecks who would risk their lives for a hamburger. The capitol raid shows no signs of impact for the election results.

How Many People Turned Up For The Capitol Raid?

No one knows for sure how many people attended this capitol raid. The patriots showed up organized and ready-to-go. It is possible that they used World of Warcraft tactics to organize. Research suggests that the orange bearded heroes split into groups of 20 for the raid. Each group of 20 had fitting rolls, such as the biggest boys being tanks. The proud neckbeards are no strangers to long nights raiding, but they have never had to stand during them. While the capitol raid seems pointless to many, some players were lucky enough to score some legendary loot.

A Raider Securing A Legendary Drop

Was The Burger Even Good?

You would think a burger would dying for would be incredible. As previously mentioned, the burger did not contain cheese even upon request. Donald Trump ordered his patriots burgers from Papa Johns. The burgers were greasy and gross, but knowing a true patriot and entrepreneur like Papa John crafted the burger fueled the patriots’ bloodlust. Papa John is no stranger to rooting for Trump, as he even said the patriots’ favorite word a few years back.

What do you think of the capitol raid? Do you believe that the election was rigged, or did you just want a free burger? Let us know down in the comments.

youtube thumb

THE SECRET ORIGIN OF PUGS | Weekly Broadcast

, , , , , , , , , , 0

For the Weekly Broadcast of December 4th, we report on the secret origin of pugs, Smosh finally joining in holy matrimony, and Disneyland’s new status as a strip club.

THE SECRET ORIGIN OF PUGS

THE SECRET ORIGIN OF PUGS | Weekly Broadcast

Don’t forget to subscribe to Realible World News in order to keep up-to-date with the most Realible news on the internet.

Links to the stories discussed in this episode can be found below:

What Are Pugs? Science Suggests They Are Aliens From Space

What Are Pugs?

What exactly are Pugs? Previously it was believed that they are a breed of dog. New data suggests that Pugs are actually aliens from space. No one knows how or when they got on Earth. Most people accept them and love them for what they are. It is unknown how humans will respond to the fact that Pugs are aliens. 

Follow the link above for the full story.

Smosh Is Back! Anthony Padilla Finally Proposes to Ian Hecox

Fans of Smosh were heartbroken when Anthony left the team. However, it appears like the dynamic duo will finally become one again, this time in holy matrimony. The sexual tension has always been there between Anthony and Ian. It’s been obvious that there is chemistry there. The looks they give each other, the cute remarks, it’s obvious.

Follow the link above for the full story.

Reopen Disneyland: Disneyland Files As A Strip Club To Qualify For Reopening

Reopen Disneyland

Disneyland is doing a major rebranding. Disneyland will no longer be an amusement parks. Amusement parks are closed indefinitely. Disneyland will be following the lead of other businesses that are allowed to remain open. Disneyland will now be filed as a strip club. The news is shocking to some, but welcoming to most. Whatever it takes to reopen Disneyland.

Follow the link above for the full story.

Be sure to subscribe to our Youtube channel to stay up-to-date on the latest episodes of our Weekly Broadcast.

boogie songs

Best Songs To Boogie To

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0

Boogie vs Body?

The 1970s began the era of the Boogie. Boogieing is an international fad. From the 1970s till today, parents passed down boogieing from one generation to the next. Tom Morey invented the first Boogie Board in 1971. Many insist that Body boarding in the actual name for the activity being referred to. However, Research shows that Boogie boarding is a much more fun name. 9/10 people agreed that Boogie boarding was more appealing than body boarding. Nonetheless, this is the Research approved list of the Best Songs To Boogie To.

1. Hotel California by The Eagles

Tom Morey invented Boogie Boarding visiting Hawaii. Similar to Hawaii, California has surf pride. That’s why Hotel California made the Best Songs To Boogie To list. This song has all the chill vibes and catchy tune you would need while catching waves. Belly down on your board coasting, Hotel California in your AirPods; that is pure ecstasy.

2. Drowning by A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie

This American Rapper prides himself on his Boogie board expertise. Shown by his name, this man loves to boogie board with his hoodie on. This may seem odd to some, but it’s the reason this song made the cut on the Best Songs To Boogie To. Drowning is all about his fear of falling off his boogie board and being swept out to sea. This fear is universal in all boogie boarders. Ever boogie enthusiast feels like they’re on top of the world when they’re catching that major wave, but the moment they lose the security of their board, there’s nothing but pure terror. A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie captures that feeling perfectly with Drowning.

3. Best Feeling By Keller Williams & The String Cheese Incident

The unanimously decided, greatest pick for the Best Songs To Boogie To is Best Feeling, by Kello Williams & The String Cheese Incident. This song never broke out of the underground boogie boarding scene. Nonetheless, the real Boogie Board masters listen exclusively to this song on repeat. Since Boogie boarding is truly the BEST FEELING in the world, why would you want to listen to anything else?

Current day Biden without his mask

Biden Mask Mandate: “I’d Rather Wear A Mask Forever Than Brush My Teeth One More God Damn Time”

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0

Agenda Behind the Biden Mask Mandate

Holy smokes the new Biden mask mandate is a game changer. Biden, the Democratic presidential nominee, released his official statement on masks. Most people have been wearing masks due to the widespread fear from COVID-19. Biden insists that masks being worn outdoors must be a mandatory practice. Many agree with this, as Research shows it could slow the spread of COVID-19. Nonetheless, others think that this is a blatant assault on their constitutional rights. However, Biden has a different agenda. It appears this candidate is sick and tired of having to brush his teeth. Those who are offended take this issue far too personally. Biden is a simple man. He isn’t concerned about COVID-19 at all, he simply does not want to brush his teeth. Below is a short excerpt from the Biden mask mandate.

Biden’s Statement

“I’ve always hated brushing my teeth. But my stinky breath and rotted teeth make people look at me funny. Ever since I put on a mask no one can tell that I haven’t brushed in decades. As long as everyone is forced to wear masks, I’ll fit in and no one will discover my secret.”

It’s peculiar that Biden told us the very secret he’s trying to hide. Still, Biden has gone as far to say that he would sign an executive order to require masks. Very interesting move from the Democratic Party. This has us wondering, do other government officials brush their teeth? What kind of system do we have if those in power can’t maintain basic hygiene?

Surprising Republican Reaction

7 months after the initial shut downs, COVID-19 still continues to persist in high numbers throughout the country. Perhaps masks should be worn by all. Surprisingly, the Biden Mask Mandate has moved a huge amount of Republican voters to consider Biden the best candidate. It seems that, especially in the southern states, teeth brushing is frowned upon. One republican voter said “In these parts, cavities are a right of passage. If you don’t lose a couple teeth before puberty then you aren’t really growing up.” People who initially hated the idea of masks now have second thoughts. Perhaps this is the push Biden needs to secure the presidency.

pikachu man

Pokemon Master Sex is Nintendo’s Hottest New App Game

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0

Pokemon Master Sex Brand New Approach

I thought this was too good to be true. But surprise, Pokemon Master Sex is real. This game pulls out all the stops of a great Pokemon game and a great hook up app. Nintendo promises a brand new Pokemon experience. Reggie Fils-Aime, former president of Nintendo of America, said, “I was one of the lucky few who got to test this game before release. I loved it, but my wife didn’t!” Reggie further said that, before this new app game, he hated Jigglypuff, but now he can’t get enough of her.

Pokemon Master Sex integrates technology from Pokemon Go and popular dating apps. People will be able to create their team, and the app will match them with local singles with complementary teams. This is genius. Since there is no better personality map than a Pokemon team, Nintendo is confident this app will blow all other dating apps out of the water.

Risks With This New Game

Our main concern with this new game is Pokemon’s younger audience. Pokemon is made for children, so this drastic change in target audience might throw people off. I wouldn’t want my child to try and catch a Charmander but end up at the bar with the local MILF. Will there be built in childproofing in the app? Or will parents need to remain diligent?

Pokemon Master Sex also comes with a bizarre new feature no one was asking for. After verifying your age, the game give the option to toggle on genitalia for the Pokemon. “We want this new ‘adult’ Pokemon game to come with authentic anatomy. We couldn’t name the game Pokemon Master Sex and not, you know, let the Pokemon have sex.” Pokemon made a major leap with this new game. Will children still be able to enjoy Pokemon as they always have? Would you let your child play this new Pokemon game?

Hulk-Hogan

WWE Summer Slam 2021 Will Be All Minority Wrestlers

, , , , , , , , , , , , , 0

WWE Summer Slam

WWE Summer Slam is a fan favorite summer event. Some WWE deny that summer even starts until the WWE Summer Slam happens each year. With diversity as such an important factor, they announced that the 2021 WWE Summer Slam is exclusively minority wrestlers. That’s right, don’t expect to see any straight white men tumbling in the ring next year. So what does this mean for the future of the WWE? We got an exclusive interview with Vince McMahon. “I don’t want WWE fans to worry. I know that this is a big change for many of us. Nonetheless, it must be known that this is not a permanent change. After the WWE Summer Slam next year, we will make sure to bring our our minority wrestlers back to a minimum.”

Below, we have the brand new Minority Driven WWE lineup. Scroll down and meet the new crew.

Black Hulk Hogan

The first new wrestler in Summer Slam 2021 is Black Hulk Hogan. Hulk Hogan is coming out of his retirement and becoming black to be in this minority smack down. It’s unknown if they’ll be hiring a Black athlete to play Hulk Hogan, or if Hulk Hogan will be decked out in full blackface. Either way, we can’t wait to see how Black Hulk Hogan fairs in next year’s big match.

Gay Undertaker

The Undertaker is coming back as a gay man! This is truly epic. Since Undertaker has been one of the gnarliest wrestlers in WWE history, him coming out as gay for the WWE Summer Slam shows how accepting the WWE is. It speculated that Undertaker will be revealing his new boyfriend for the tag team match. There’s no way fans won’t love this new, minority Undertaker.

What? These aren’t even real minority wrestlers.

We realized that too. Although these wrestlers are technically minorities, this seems more like an insult to actual black and gay wrestlers. This cop out to appease the increased demand for minority respect in entertainment is disgusting. In fact, this is the laziest, worst attempt at minority inclusion we’ve ever seen. Since the WWE has already received backlash in how they handle their actual minority wrestlers, they are going to get huge hate over this.

Local multiplayer being banned may lead to the end of Mario Party

Local Multiplayer Must Be Removed From All Upcoming Video Games

, , , , , , , , , , , , , 0

WHO Bans Local Multiplayer Banned

Multiplayer is a beloved element in video games. The removal of local multiplayer from all upcoming games is a controversial, yet necessary decision. New World Health Organization guidelines include video games into social distancing rules. Therefore, the WHO has banned all developers, worldwide, from including local multiplayer in their video games. Since it has been a staple for so long, video games must evolve.

The Future of Gaming

Since party games have been a fan favorite for decades, these games will be missed most. Some examples include Mario Party, Super Smash Brothers, Jack Box Party Pack, Overcooked, the list goes on. Especially for video game giant Nintendo, their games will need major overhauls. The New Super Mario Bros series, known for multiplayer side-scrolling platforming, must now be solely single-player. In addition, Super Smash Brothers, Mario Kart, and Mario Party are only allowed to have online play. Even Nintendo’s sequels to popular single-player games had multiplayer additions. Luigi’s Mansion and Pikmin must remove all local multiplayer functionality.

In recent years, local multiplayer has surged with indie games. Jackbox, Gangbeasts, Overcooked, and Cuphead are some examples of indie games that succeeded because of their local multiplayer. With social distancing rules, these games are a thing of the past. Indie games must evolve to abide by these new guidelines.

Fighting games will never be the same. Street Fighter, Tekken, and Mortal Kombat can only have online multiplayer. This is the trend of move game genres anyway, but it seems like it will have a negative impact on the fighting genre in particular. With online multiplayer becoming the new norm, it’s suspected all games will create “battle royale” modes to keep the younger audience engaged. A 100 player free for all in Street Fighter sounds pretty unbearable, but we’ll find out.

smash mouth coronavirus

Smash Mouth Attempts to Murder Their Fanbase

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 0

Smash Mouth should have retired long ago. With their 26 year history, their one song “All Star” is all they have to show. Their only claim to fame is being part of the Shrek soundtrack. Nonetheless, they are still performing today and not even a global pandemic stops them from disappointing the masses. Their newest stunt involves murdering their few die hard fans that are left. After realizing their core audience is in South Dakota, the state so boring people have resorted to Smash Mouth, they found their target.

Smash Mouth’s Murder Plot

During a time when people are supposed to be distancing themselves, why would a band host a major concert? The only reason is to kill off their fans. Since Smash Mouth feels they’ve been severely under appreciated by the masses, their goal is to kill as many people as possible and get away with it. This is their only opportunity to kill and get away with it. A packed audience at a concert is a surefire way for COVID-19 to efficiently infect as many people as possible. Audience members only inches apart spitting and sweating all over each other, the band is certain there will be hundreds of new cases after their show. Since their fans are a little older in age, the band is certain many of the cases will be fatal.

Smash Mouth is confident they will face no legal repercussions for this. Despite it going against CDC guidelines, since there is no reason to go to a concert with raising virus numbers, responsibility falls on the attendees. Nonetheless, the band is receiving backlash. Frontman Steve Harwell yelling “We’re all here together tonight! F*** that COVID s***!” shows their blatant disregard for any health concerns.

The disgruntled Smash Mouth is eagerly awaiting the data on how many lives they’ve ruined. It seems like a self destructive move, but Smash Mouth is tired and wants to destroy their fans once and for all.

NY Attorney General sues NRA. Their name is now Not Radical Assholes

NY Attorney General Sues, Causes NRA Name Change to Not Radical Assholes

, , , , , , , , , , , , 0

NRA

The NY Attorney General Letitia James is battling the NRA. The National Rifle Association prides themselves as being America’s oldest civil rights organization. The NRA defends Second Amendment rights. However, with pressure from proposed laws to regulate or ban firearms, the NRA is more active than ever. Their members are adamant about their freedom and insist no-compromise gun freedom is the best option. Also, supporters of the NRA believe that mostly unrestricted firearm ownership doesn’t contribute to violence and shootings.

Those against the the NRA believe that the it is a radical organization. Critics say they put their own sense of freedom above the general safety of the public. Although the NRA began as a non-partisan organization, it has transformed into a primarily republican group. However, Research suggests that, for an organization so focused on freedom, it has serious indoctrination vibes. They tell their members who to vote for, what to think, and even what coffee to buy (https://www.blackriflecoffee.com/collections/nra-collection). The NY Attorney General believes that the NRA’s criminal misuse of funds and donations

NRA’s Name Change

Now with the new Lawsuit from the NY Attorney General, the NRA is taking creative measure to dodge the request to dissolve. In a last ditch effort to appeal to the masses, they changed their name to Not Radical Assholes. Since their haters consider them to be the most radical assholes of all, this name change might trick them into thinking the NRA isn’t so bad after all.

It is unknown what the actual intentions are behind this lawsuit. Since the NRA is one of the most powerful interest groups in America, they have their fingers in a lot of pots. With the upcoming election, the NRA has been gunning for Trump and criticizing Biden. Is this lawsuit an attempt to weaken support for Trump? Will the NRA’s name change to Not Radical Assholes convince the masses into defending them? Only time will tell.

Dinsey's coronavirus response, COVID-19 Death Toll outside It's a Small World

Disney’s Coronavirus Response: Adds COVID-19 Death Toll To Countries in It’s A Small World

, , , , , , , , , 0

Disney’s COVID-19 Struggle

In preparation for Disneyland’s reopening later this year, cast members are minimizing risk. Disney’s coronavirus response has faced huge criticisms. People are unhappy with Florida’s Disneyworld opening as coronavirus cases sky rocket. Although Disneyworld has socially distanced lines and rides, frequent cleaning, and limited occupancy, it is believed to have contributed to the pandemic. California is a virus hotspot, and Disneyland would surely contribute to the cases. Nonetheless, Disneyland builds toward an opening, and Disney’s coronavirus response takes surprising turns.

Disney’s Coronavirus Response

It’s A Small World is one of Disneyland’s longest lasting rides. Disney fans know this ride by heart. Your boat takes you on a peaceful ride around the world. As your boat crawls through the ride, you travel to Europe, Asia, South America, the South Pacific, and back home to good ol’ United States of America. This ride opened in 1966, and has had few changes since. Disney’s Coronavirus Response brings the a major addition to It’s A Small World.

On the ride, there will be a real time coronavirus death tolls for each country you pass through. They will use statistics from the World Health Organization to make sure their numbers are up to date and accurate. What seems like a morbid addition to an otherwise happy ride could bring to light how dangerous this virus really is. Disney will not let park goers forget the devastating aftermath of this pandemic.

Another addition to the park is large COVID-19 virus particles that will float around the Pixie Hollow area. Since the scenery in Pixie Hollow grows to give the illusion of being fairy sized, the COVID-19 particles will be to the same, massive scale Disney hopes that the realization of how easily this virus could consume Tinker Bell will finally force people to take it seriously. Disney’s coronavirus response shows that this company is willing to go above and beyond to make their parks safe.

Load More