White Claws dominate the summer, but now Santa Claws are here to take over the holidays. The new Christmas-friendly hard seltzer is here. White Claws are the most popular alcoholic drink of the last two years. With the hype behind alcoholic seltzers at an all-time peak, it is only fitting that White Claws surprise the world with a third pack of flavors. Just in time for the holidays, ‘Santa Claws’ is coming to town. The new 12 pack of hard seltzers come with four new seasonal flavors bound to make everyone actually enjoy the holidays.
For the Weekly Broadcast of December 18th, we report on how Starbucks removes the ‘Santa Cream Latte’ from their menu, System of a Down’s new Christmas album, and the new Game & Watch all the kids want.
Starbucks is no stranger to holiday controversies. The ‘Santa Cream Latte’ was a huge hit during the 6 hours it was available. The new drink perfectly captured the holiday spirit, and fans were loving it. Reports suggest that the drink was a perfect blend of cream and peppermint. So why was the hit drink removed so quickly? It ends up the beverage was a bit inappropriate, and people were not happy to see it on the menu. Starbucks then removed their new seasonal drink from the menu.
System of a Down will finally reunite. The band thought now was the perfect time, as they can band together to raise awareness for a special cause very close to their hearts. This cause of course, involves Santa Clause. The band is reuniting to create a Christmas album. Not a lot of people are aware of Christmas or the importance of the holiday, and System of a Down are sure to change that. The new album “Jingle Bombs” is coming in 2020.
The PlayStation 5 has been difficult to find ever since launch, but it isn’t even the hottest gift option of 2020. Nintendo is once again dominating the Christmas season. The developer is having a major come back, with the Nintendo Switch still outselling even the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X on release month. The only thing that can compete with Nintendo at this point is Nintendo themselves. Times don’t change and this Christmas Nintendo is still on top. This tip is for the parents: the Game & Watch is the hottest gift of 2020.
For the Weekly Broadcast of December 11th, we explore why are these monoliths in Nintendo games? We also discuss Crazy Frog’s controversial return and a new Breaking Bad Spinoff.
For weeks now steel monoliths have been popping up around the globe. No one knows what it means or where they are coming from. It now seems that this could all be a publicity stunt from Nintendo. Monolith Soft are a developer for Nintendo that have worked on the Xenoblade games and helped with The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. It cannot be a coincidence that the monoliths have appeared within Xenoblade Chronicles and Breath of the Wild respectively. Nintendo is about to announce something huge.
Crazy Frog is back and about time too. His Twitter account has recently become active again, which sparked fan speculation all across the globe. Is he planning a comeback? Is a new album on the horizon? Or is he just planning on launching an Onlyfans? No one knows for sure, but one thing is definitely for sure. Crazy Frog’s penis is now bigger than ever.
People can’t get enough. After Better Call Saul and El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, fans still demand more. We’ve see the rise and fall of Walter White, the history of Saul Goodman, and Jesse Pinkman continuing life after Walt. This new Breaking Bad Spinoff “The One Who Knocks,” could be called “The One Who Still Poopoos In His Pants,” because we’ll finally get backstory on Walter’s childhood years. We’ll see what formed him into the man we meet at the beginning of Breaking Bad.
Today’s episode of Celebrity Dungeon features footage from our exclusive interview with Chris Pratt. The following footage was capturing during Chris’ visit into our celebrity dungeon located in the basement of the Realible World News Headquarters. The video and transcript can be found below.
Celebrity Dungeon Episode 3: Guardians of the Galaxy, Cheating, and Christianity Transcript
Dr. Williams: Hello Chris. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk today. We loved talking with you last month about your memoir. First off, how are you doing today Chris?
Chris Pratt: I am not doing to well. Last week I was nearly canceled. Can you believe it is illegal to be Christian these days? I feel like Jesus. Being persecuted for my beliefs. I don’t want to compare myself to Jesus, but I am pretty much exactly like him in every way.
The Cancelation Of Christianity
Dr. Williams: I also see the similarities between you and Jesus. I am sorry that all Christians are being canceled right now. This witch hunt is truly terrifying. What are your thoughts about this whole thing?
Chris Pratt: Honestly I just don’t understand it. I grew up in a world where we preached acceptance and religious freedom, and now I am being punished for my beliefs. Religion is not something I bring into work or anywhere. I literally play a slimy space pirate in Guardians of the Galaxy. My own personal beliefs should not be brought up on Twitter if I am not shoving it down people’s throats.
Dr. Williams: I agree Chris. Especially since you are such a cool Christian. You are open minded in so many ways. Most Christian men would never be brave enough to talk about Christian cheating and space pirates. You are truly an inspiration to loose Christians everywhere.
Chris Pratt: Thank you Dr. Williams. This is exactly what I am going for. I try to be the most relatable Christian I can be. If I can inspire even one many to forgo the Christian ways of the past and be more like me, then well I did my job.
Dr. Williams: You truly are an inspiration. I am going to start calling you Jesus Jr. here on out. Okay Jesus Jr. on to the next question. How do you feel about your memoir “The Christian Guide To Cheating” one month after release? Do you still hold those beliefs fondly?
The Christian Guide To Cheating
Jesus Jr: Thank you so much for bringing this up. Honestly this is the greatest thing I have ever created. My kids and my movies come second to this helpful guide. It really renewed my life. Some Christian men might feel like they need to renew their vows to spice up a dying marriage, but I disagree. The best way to renew your life is to follow the Christian guide to cheating. I feel like a new man. My confidence has never been higher, and I read this book like the Bible.
Dr. Williams: Wow. I also am a huge fan of your memoir. Honestly I read it every night before bed. My Wife must have loved your guide as well, because she recently cheated on me as well. I am just glad you could help her out. This advice is not just for men, it is for all Christians. Is there anything you wish you mentioned in your memoir but forgot? Any new tips?
Jesus Jr: If getting canceled taught me anything, it is that everyone is teetering on the edge of cancelation. Canceling wouldn’t exist if Jesus didn’t want it to. My advice would be to just rip off the Band-Aid. Stop living a lie and just live the Christian life you want. Upgrade to a hot new wife, get a cool new terminator step-father, and just really enjoy life. No one sticks with a PS4, everyone will upgrade to the PS5. This is how I think about family. If Jesus didn’t want me to get laid, he wouldn’t have introduced such a great new woman into my life. Long story short, just follow the life set in front of you, as it is a gift from the Lord.
The Future And More
Dr. Williams: Wow this is exactly what I hoped to hear from you today Jesus Jr. Before we go I wanted to get your thoughts on the future of your memoir, as well as your cancelation. How is the future looking for you?
Jesus Jr: Honestly the future looks rough. I have been dealt some undeserved consequences just for living the life I want to live. I will never let Jesus down, and I refuse to ignore the gifts he grants me in my life. If I am to be punished for the bounty that Jesus lays before me, then so be it. I am going to keep living my life the Christian way. I hope to release more helpful guides. Stay tuned for my next novel “The Christian Guide To Homophobia”. I am not homophobic, but I have a lot to teach.
Dr. Williams: Wow you sound like you are just asking to get canceled. I really can’t see anyone defending you here on out, but I respect your ability to just go for it. You are a real go-getter Jesus Jr.
Jesus Jr: Haha wow Jesus Jr. sure has a nice ring to it. I think I will change my Twitter handle to that.
Dr. Williams: Thank you for the interview today Chris. I can’t wait to cheat the Christian way here on out.
Jesus Jr: *Laughs for 4 minutes straight* You are too much Dr. Williams. Thank you for following me so blindly. I will see you next time.
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Some people are more fortunate than others. While some sweepstakes winners get to meet Zach and Cody from the Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, others get free Red Lobster. A local homeless man from Irvine, California was ecstatic to find a winning ticket for free Red Lobster for the year of 2020. The man couldn’t believe his eyes. The man thought to himself “I will finally not have to worry about filling my stomach”, but literally did he know, this is only the beginning of an entirely new problem.
What Is Wrong With Winning A Year Of Free Red Lobster?
A year of free lobster sounds incredible, but a year of free Red Lobster sounds like diarrhea and disappointment. The chain is notorious for being the worst sit-down restaurant of all time. If you have a sibling or friend that still remembers the restaurant fondly, just dare them to go again. They will immediately update their verbal review. Red Lobster is exclusively famous for their Cheddar Bay Biscuits. This is where the problem lies. Imagine a year of free biscuits. That is only one food group. Maybe the cheese could be considered some dairy gains. but not enough for our tastes. This homeless man has a lot to worry about.
Will He Have To Live Off Of Just Cheddar Biscuits For A Year?
If the man wants to survive, he will have to ignore the rest of the menu. Exclusively living off biscuits doesn’t sound fun, it sounds like a nightmare. An all carbs diet can be deleterious for ones health, and this could end in tragedy.
What Does The Homeless Man Think Of His Winnings?
We found the homeless man and asked him his opinion on Red Lobster. He said “I was excited at first, but upon receiving my preview meal of 2020, I really don’t think I will be utilizing this free year of food. Maybe if I get really hungry one day I might stopped by for some of their Cheddar Bay Biscuits, but then I would just get thirsty. I think I will weigh my options going forward”. As expected, he doesn’t sound very excited.
What you be disappointed if you won a year of free Red Lobster? Let us know in the comments.
White Claws dominate the summer, but now Santa Claws are here to take over the holidays. The new Christmas-friendly hard seltzer is here. White Claws are the most popular alcoholic drink of the last two years. With the hype behind alcoholic seltzers at an all-time peak, it is only fitting that White Claws surprise the world with a third pack of flavors. Just in time for the holidays, ‘Santa Claws’ is coming to town. The new 12 pack of hard seltzers come with four new seasonal flavors bound to make everyone actually enjoy the holidays.
What Are The New Seasonal White Claw Flavors?
The ‘Santa Claws’ pack comes with flavors fitting for the holidays. The flavors are Peppermint, Mistletoe, eggnog, and Santa cream. Most of these flavors sound odd and inedible, but we got a couple of reviewer packs, and the beverages do not disappoint. It taste like seltzer water with a splash of Christmas. What more could anyone possibly want for the Holidays? Even a total Scrooge will enjoy the holidays this year.
Why Are They Called Santa Claws?
While it might seem odd for a drink to blatantly refer to a Christian holiday, it is actually an incredibly smart business move. No one needs and wants alcohol more than a Christian Dad of four. This is the perfect Christmas gift for dad. It has all of the trendy and low calorie fun of the White Claw, with all the alcohol content a dad will love. Bring dad home a couple packs and Christmas is guaranteed to be a hit. Additionally, anyone can enjoy Santa Claws, even if you don’t celebrate Christmas. Everyone is a winner when the claw is the law.
What do you think about Santa Claws? Are you going to run to the store right now? We highly recommend it. Merry Christmas!
The PlayStation 5 has been difficult to find ever since launch, but it isn’t even the hottest gift option of 2020. Nintendo is once again dominating the Christmas season. The developer is having a major come back, with the Nintendo Switch still outselling even the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X on release month. The only thing that can compete with Nintendo at this point is Nintendo themselves. Times don’t change and this Christmas Nintendo is still on top. This tip is for the parents: the Game & Watch is the hottest gift of 2020.
What Is A Game & Watch?
The Game & Watch was Nintendo’s first handheld device. The system came out in 1980 and has been a must-have ever since. The device is so popular, that its mascot, Mr. Game & Watch, was added to Super Smash Brothers Melee. The character joined the brawl before many highly requested characters, so this is a huge testament to his popularity. The handheld system also worked as a functional clock. This is a big deal, as it is almost impossible to know the time without a watch or clock. The games on the device are full of 2D personality and charm, and the PlayStation 5 just can’t compete even with HD graphics.
So Why Is It Trendy In 2020?
The Game & Watch has been re-released by Nintendo in a fresh golden design featuring the original Super Mario games for the Nintendo Entertainment System. The original Mario side-scroller has never been possible to play in such a fashionable way. Old is gold in 2020, and with this sleek gold design, your kid can have more swag than a PlayStation 5 ever could ever bring. You can’t bring your PS5 to school, and you certainly can’t walk around rocking that swag in public. Only the Game & Watch makes your kid look and feel cool.
What do you think of the new Game & Watch release? Will you make the right call and get rid of your PlayStation 5 and turn it in for the hottest gift of 2020? If you are selling your PlayStation 5, please reach out to us through email, we will generously trade you a Game & Watch for it. You’re welcome! Merry Christmas everyone.
Tobias finally caught his big break. The former Analrapist will now be starring in a major Hollywood blockbuster. Tobias has secured the role as the legendary Luigi. He has been fan-casted as Luigi since the early 2000s, so this is a dream come true to many fans. The movie will show how Mario (who has yet to be casted) and Luigi became the plumbers we all know today. The origin film is expected to ignore the last Super Mario Bros movie, and will be separate from the upcoming animated film as well. The Super Mario Brothers Live Action movie is coming to theaters December 2022.
How Did Tobias Get His Big Break?
After giving up on the Blue Man Group, Tobias focused on his burgeoning acting career yet again. He knew that the Super Mario franchise had a history of bad films, but he was willing to sink low and start method act as Luigi ever since Season 5 of Arrested Development finished filming. The move was risky, but it paid off. Sure enough, Nintendo was going to develop a live action Super Mario Brothers movie. Since no one else was willing to portray Luigi in such a perfect manner, Tobias was handed the role. No one else managed to put in the research required to play the goofy plumber.
Isn’t David Cross Actually The One Playing Luigi In The Super Mario Live Action Movie?
There is no David Cross anymore. After method acting as Tobias to prepare for Arrested Development Season 5, David Cross’s mind slipped into Tobias-mode permanently. The actor refuses to be called anything other than Tobias. He even went as far to legally change his name to Tobias Fünke. David Cross is no more, but Tobias and Luigi will live on forever.
What do you think about the live action Super Mario Brothers movie? Do you think Tobias will make a great Luigi? Let us know in the comments.
There have been many controversial reactions to COVID-19. Gavin Newsom is at it again. He increased California lockdown protocol during Thanksgiving. Smaller party sizes, shut down businesses, and a 10pm curfew have all been put in place to diminish the spread of COVID-19. However, the US is hitting higher numbers than ever. Newsom isn’t giving up. While the holidays are a time of family gatherings and the spread of disease, this year could be especially fatal. Cold weather, weakened immune systems, and large gatherings are what this holiday season is all about. Newsom refuses to give up. This new Newsom COVID-19 respones is designed to limit any potential holiday gathering from occurring. Effective immediately in all grocery stores, the sale of any food item containing more than 4 servings is banned.
How Will This New Newsom COVID-19 Response Help?
How could families gather if there’s no way for them to eat? With no more party sized bags of Doritos, 12 packs of beer, carton of eggs, it is going to be tough to create a meal for more than three or four hungry stomachs. Almost all grocery store food items will be in single serving packages. Newsom’s heart is in the right place, but it’s unlikely this plan will be effective. The California Sheriff’s department reported that they will not be enforcing this rule, and people are free to buy as many of these single servings as they want.
What Can I Do To Stay Safe?
Although this new Newsom COVID-19 response seems unhelpful, it is good to keep it in mind. Especially if you have elderly family that could suffer greatly from coronavirus, it is smart to keep safety as the number one priority. Family is important, especially during the holiday. Family meet ups and gift exchanges can be done safely. Always try to keep airflow wherever you are and keep contact to a minimum. If you are experiencing any cold or flu-like symptoms, it’s better to stay at home and keep outside contact to a minimum as well.
The New McDonald’s McFurry is finally coming to all locations. The new treat has been making waves, especially amongst a certain community. Like the Puppuccino, the McFurry is a new secret menu item for animals. Animals are not the only ones enjoying this new dessert though, as Furries around the world are making this item their own.
What Exactly Is A McFurry?
A McFurry is exactly what it sounds like. A McFlurry for animals. The treat consists of a small scoop of ice cream covered with tiny pieces of crumbled up dog treats. The menu item is affordable at only $1.99. The new treat will be very popular amongst animal lovers making a quick stop at the drive-thru. Test groups loved the treat, and now it is finally coming to all McDonalds locations world wide.
So Why Are Furries Uniting Behind This Treat?
The name alone caught the interest of the Furry community, but the movement has grown larger since then. For those who aren’t aware, Furries are people that have Fursonas that they create and roleplay as. While often used for sexual purposes, this is not always the case. Furries are often misunderstood in media, as most members of the community are just having harmless fun and enjoy creating their own anthropomorphic character to identify as. The Furry community is taking pride in the McFurry, as there is finally a fun animal friendly item to adopt into their subcultures. Countless amounts of Furries have shown up to McDonald’s drive-thrus all around the globe dressed as Fursona. It is about time a major corporation creates something fun that can be adopted by a unique community.
How Has McDonalds Reacted To The News?
McDonalds is now accepting the Furry community with open arms. The franchise is famous for adopting beliefs the moment they become acceptable and profitable. Rumors have it that McDonalds is currently filming Furry friendly commercials to capitalize on the community even further.
What do you think of the McFurry? Are you going to get one for your dog or self? Let us know in the comments.