Patriot

The world laughed at Donald Trump after his last ditch effort to rally his fans. The soon-to-be former President of the United States promised free ham burgers to anyone who would storm the capitol. The hamburger would not include cheese, and a drink would cost extra. What no one expected was the turn out for this deal. Despite having minimal gains from this raid, an audience showed up. Fortunately for Donald Trump, there are tons of rednecks who would risk their lives for a hamburger. The capitol raid shows no signs of impact for the election results.

How Many People Turned Up For The Capitol Raid?

No one knows for sure how many people attended this capitol raid. The patriots showed up organized and ready-to-go. It is possible that they used World of Warcraft tactics to organize. Research suggests that the orange bearded heroes split into groups of 20 for the raid. Each group of 20 had fitting rolls, such as the biggest boys being tanks. The proud neckbeards are no strangers to long nights raiding, but they have never had to stand during them. While the capitol raid seems pointless to many, some players were lucky enough to score some legendary loot.

Was The Burger Even Good?

You would think a burger would dying for would be incredible. As previously mentioned, the burger did not contain cheese even upon request. Donald Trump ordered his patriots burgers from Papa Johns. The burgers were greasy and gross, but knowing a true patriot and entrepreneur like Papa John crafted the burger fueled the patriots’ bloodlust. Papa John is no stranger to rooting for Trump, as he even said the patriots’ favorite word a few years back.

What do you think of the capitol raid? Do you believe that the election was rigged, or did you just want a free burger? Let us know down in the comments.