Ellen DeGeneres Merch

Ellen’s New Candle

Ellen DeGeneres dropped a candle that smells like her and it is really bland. It is almost as forgettable as her forgettable role as the forgetful fish. Research suggests that this Ellen brand candle does not burn evenly and produces way too much smoke. In a similar nature to how Ellen treated the crew of the Ellen Show, she insists that the candles are only manufactured in the worst, least humane factory sweatshops. Despite this, Portia, Ellen’s wife, supports her fully. Portia thought of making her own candle, but Ellen advised that her scent isn’t nearly as marketable.

Reception to the Candle

The Ellen DeGeneres Candle has proven that there are only two types of people in this world, those who hate Ellen and her candle and those that love Ellen and want to sniff her. For the later, this candle is a dream come true. Since musky aroma of Ellen’s musk hasn’t been available to the general public until now, fans jumped on this candle.

One hater of the candle described the scent, “It’s like my grandma after she got home from zumba lessons. Nothing but sweat and old person.” This review seems harsh. I’m sure this person’s grandma couldn’t smell that bad.

One lover of the candle had a strikingly similar description, “It’s like my grandma after spin classes. Nothing but sweat and sexual power.” This review of the candle brings a new light to its potential appeal.

Ellen DeGeneres plans on releasing an entire line of her scent. Perfume, cologne, shampoo, body wash, lotion, lube, etc. Even an “Ellen Spice” inspired by her taste. It’s interesting that this media tycoon waited till her show ended to release these products. Realible World News pre-ordered the lotion, shampoo, and body wash before they sold out. We’ll keep you updated on upcoming Ellen News.

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