Chronic Tacos review

This Taco Tuesday, we tried Chronic Tacos for the first time. We looked at no reviews, and had our first meal totally blind. Based on 5 objective measurements, below is our official score for Chronic Tacos. Should Chronic Tacos be your Taco Tuesday destination?

Chronic Tacos: Taco Tuesday Without Sauce

Taste

When it comes to taste Chronic Tacos does not disappoint. We tried out their Cali burritos and they were delicious. The french fries add some greasy deliciousness, and the mystery meat inside was perfect. We couldn’t tell what the meat was because our intern ordered the food. Our burritos were also very dry. While the restaurant (?) has sauces, we were not given any. We asked for sauces on the side, but it didn’t happen. This is the taste portion of the review though. We will not complain about the service, but the burrito’s dryness left much to be desired.

Price

When it comes to price, we can’t be too sure. Our intern picked up the burritos, and she often takes out an extra 20 dollars for herself. She claims she lost the receipt, and always tells us a ridiculous price. Our total came down to $45. This is either an absurd amount for two burritos, or she pulled a fast one on us again. Regardless, our wallets are left injured after this experience. No dry burrito is worth 22 dollars each.

Convenience

Our intern told us that the convenience was poor. They were expecting an easy Taco Bell or Del Taco pick up. However, they were met with a daunting Subway like experience. Practically putting the customer in the shoes of the chef, our poor intern was forced to pick and choose the ingredients to each burrito. Perhaps the disappointing taste was because of our intern and not Chronic Tacos. Nonetheless, when eating out, the customer should never be in charge of preparing their meal.

Toot Power

Neither of us have tooted once since eating these burritos. It has us questioning the authenticity of the entire restaurant (?). How can a burrito not create toots? This is suspicious and disappointing. The highlight of a good Taco Tuesday is the after-meal tooting. The other categories hardly matter, as your stomach knows best. If Taco Tuesday doesn’t leave you with gas, that food was ass.  

Butthole Burn

Neither of our buttholes faced a challenge after Chronic Tacos. Much like the Toot Power, your body knows when you had a good Taco Tuesday. We always hope the food is easy going down, but hell coming out. This weekly event is supposed to leave your butthole burning in sweet satisfaction. The egg casserole I ate this morning put my butthole through a far more painful journey.

Chronic Tacos Final Score

Chronic Tacos gave almost no bang for your buck. No toots, no burn, no sauce, no second chances. We recommend you don’t try Chronic Tacos, but if you do please let them know how dissatisfied we were with our experience. Also don’t go on Taco Tuesday.