Mike Tyson Fights A Child | Weekly Broadcast
For the Weekly Broadcast of September 10th we report on Jesus being black, Baseball being boycotted, a new Mr. Bean Broadway Play, Elon Musk’s newest endeavor, and how Mike Tyson fights a child.
Mike Tyson Fights A Child | Weekly Broadcast Episode 2
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Links to the stories discussed in this episode can be found below:
#JesusMatters Trends As Conservatives Finally Admit Jesus Was Black
Just when it seems like tensions couldn’t get any worse between conservatives and liberals, a major breakthrough occurred. While many die hard conservatives have not jumped on the black lives matter trend. However, today they started their own socially conscious trend. Conservative Christians around the world have started #JesusMatters; implicating that Jesus was in fact Black.
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Fans Boycott MLB After Realizing Baseball is Gay
Baseball revolves entirely around men swinging their big, long rods, while other men around try to grab their balls. How could the masses not realize that every baseball player is gay? And why wait this long to boycott MLB? Baseball players don’t even try to hide their homosexual urges. In passing, they slap each other’s butts as they whisper sweet nothings. The crowd in the grandstands were too busy munching on peanuts and cotton candy to realize, until today. Now fans boycott MLB after years of loyalty.
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Mr. Bean Full Frontal Coming To Broadway
Mr. Bean Full Frontal, the Broadway musical based on Mr. Bean’s 2014 sex tape opens this weekend. Mr. Bean stole the show of the 2014 Fappening when he leaked his extremely explicit sex tape. Fans fondly remember the tape. They are nervous if the play will accurately portray the extreme, life threatening bondage Mr. Bean trapped himself in.
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Elon Musk Rockets To The Moon In Efforts To Find “Out Of This World” Memes
Elon Musk rockets to the moon in search of memes. He is tired of the Earth’s mediocre memes. The business tycoon has announced that he is sending a rocket to the moon. This quest is in efforts to find “out of this world” memes. Additionally, he hopes to bring back plenty of unique and high quality memes to Earth. There is no information however, on if these memes are currently available. Additionally, no one knows if the memes will be published and shared on the internet for free.
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Mike Tyson Realizes Pigeons are Too Easy to Destroy, Goes Back to Boxing
Mike Tyson is the Gerber Baby of boxing. Everyone loves him and he is really cute. After an incredible boxing career with 44 knockout victories, he retired in 2005. He realized humans were too easy to defeat, so he spent the last 15 years fighting various animals. After effortlessly killing bears, tigers, sharks, and even blue whales in hand to hand combat, Mike Tyson realized pigeons were his greatest adversary. After mastering the art of pigeon fights, he moves on to his next opponent. Mike Tyson fights a child.
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