Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher Enlisted By The U.S. Government To Count Ballots

The conclusion of the 2020 Presidential election is drawing close. Citizens are waiting impatiently as some states continue to count ballots. Fortunately, the wait should soon be over. The U.S. government will be enlisting the Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher to speed up the ballot counting process. The machine is expected to start work immediately. No one knows how trustworthy this machine really is, but the public is hopeful. Rarely has anyone ever had an inaccurate ticket total, so it is possible that we will see honest results. The Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher will hopefully have the election results in by the end of the day.

Why The Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher?

The U.S. government needed an unbiased counter. The Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher has absolutely nothing to gain regardless of which ever candidate wins. Chuck E. Cheese has been in bad shape in the coming years, and by accepting this job, they will gain massive amounts of publicity. The machine is also very reliable and statistically validated. The machine seems to work accurately 100% of the time. Thousands of tests were conducted to validate that the machine works accurately every time, and the machine succeeded every single time. Human error is more likely with humans than it is with the Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher. The machine is also much faster, as humans do not have the capabilities of the whacky machine. It seems as it humans have met their match. The Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher seems to be the definitive species of Earth.

Is There Any Chance The Machine Has Sinister Intentions?

It is unlikely that anything can go wrong when utilizing the Chuck E. Cheese Ticket Muncher. The machine seems genuinely unbiased. It is as if it has no conscious or opinions at all. It literally just counts. Humans would be a lot better off if they could stay this unbiased and focused on just hard numbers and facts. The U.S. government seems to have a lot of faith in these machines, and we can’t wait to see how they are utilized in the future.

What do you think about this method of ballot counting? Do you think this will proof successful? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.