christian

Chic-fil-A just got a bit more exclusive. If you love Satan or other men, you are shit out of luck when it comes to getting your paws on a Chic-fil-A chicken biscuit. The Christian fast food chain will now require all guests to present their bible at the cash register. Without proof of bible ownership, it will be impossible to complete the transaction and claim your food items. The move seems controversial, but rural areas are loving it.

Why Is A Bible Necessary To Eat At Chic-fil-A?

Some see this move as discrimination, others see it as idiotic. Requiring a bible for purchasing goods seems like an easy way to lose customers. Chic-fil-A isn’t worried though. They aren’t in the fast food business to make money, they only care about feeding Christians. Their business model was created in hopes of feeding the next coming of Christ. Any income the company makes goes directly to anti-LGBTQ resources, so the less money Chic-fil-A has, the better. The company insists that they don’t hate members of the LGBTQ community or any ethnic groups, they just don’t want them to have food.

Can I Use A Fake Bible To Get A Chicken Biscuit?

While it is possible to use a fake bible to attempt to fool the employee at the cash register (because let’s face it, tons of Chic-fil-A employees are fake Christians that just want a paycheck and a chicken sandwhich), you also must have a psalm memorized. The staff at Chic-fil-A is trained to ask any suspicious guest their favorite psalm to certify them as a legitimate Christian. As long as you have your fake bible in hand, and a psalm memorized in your mind, then you are good to go. Only God will be disappointed in you, but your stomach will be happy.

What do you think about this new policy? Do you find it upsetting? Let us know in the comments.