quarantween

The collaboration of a life time is here. The American government will be teaming up with Michael Myers. The cross over is happening in hopes of keeping American citizens on lockdown. Only the bravest of the brave would dare go out this Halloween. The story follows the news that Halloween is canceled this year. Some critics call the move unconstitutional, while others call the move “fun and scary”. It is unknown how this will go down tonight, but it sure sounds terrifying.

Who Is Michael Myers?

Michael Myers is no government official. He is the dreaded killer from the Halloween franchise. The Captain Kirk cosplayer intends to run around on Halloween night and scare people back into lockdown. If you resist his initial scare, he might just execute you. The methods seem harsh, but authorities say it is in line with the standards set for law enforcement. Sounds like Michael Myers is free to roam the streets tonight.

If Halloween Is Canceled, Can I Still Get Candy?

Anyone interested in candy can still have candy. All major retailers will still be selling bags of candy. If you want free candy though, you will have to test your luck and go against Michael Myers. Free candy isn’t worth dying though, so we would recommend staying indoors this evening.

What Happens If I Come Across Michael Myers?

If you end up going outside anyways, and you come across Michael Myers, then Stop, drop, and roll. Public service announcements across the United States are raising awareness for the stop, drop, and roll technique. Michael Myers is crafty. but he is not as elusive as a surprise roll. The killer is more likely to go after a different victim, one who is not embarrassingly rolling all over the floor. Regardless, it is unsafe to even try to celebrate Halloween this year. Not unless you want Michael Myers to show up.

If you do plan on going out this Halloween and aren’t a lonely virgin, be sure to check out our list of the sexiest and most unexpected Halloween costumes for couples.

What do you plan to do this Halloween? Or will you stay home and celebrate quarantween? What do you think about Halloween being Canceled? Let us know in the comments. Stay safe, and stay alive!