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Smash Mouth Attempts to Murder Their Fanbase

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Smash Mouth should have retired long ago. With their 26 year history, their one song “All Star” is all they have to show. Their only claim to fame is being part of the Shrek soundtrack. Nonetheless, they are still performing today and not even a global pandemic stops them from disappointing the masses. Their newest stunt involves murdering their few die hard fans that are left. After realizing their core audience is in South Dakota, the state so boring people have resorted to Smash Mouth, they found their target.

Smash Mouth’s Murder Plot

During a time when people are supposed to be distancing themselves, why would a band host a major concert? The only reason is to kill off their fans. Since Smash Mouth feels they’ve been severely under appreciated by the masses, their goal is to kill as many people as possible and get away with it. This is their only opportunity to kill and get away with it. A packed audience at a concert is a surefire way for COVID-19 to efficiently infect as many people as possible. Audience members only inches apart spitting and sweating all over each other, the band is certain there will be hundreds of new cases after their show. Since their fans are a little older in age, the band is certain many of the cases will be fatal.

Smash Mouth is confident they will face no legal repercussions for this. Despite it going against CDC guidelines, since there is no reason to go to a concert with raising virus numbers, responsibility falls on the attendees. Nonetheless, the band is receiving backlash. Frontman Steve Harwell yelling “We’re all here together tonight! F*** that COVID s***!” shows their blatant disregard for any health concerns.

The disgruntled Smash Mouth is eagerly awaiting the data on how many lives they’ve ruined. It seems like a self destructive move, but Smash Mouth is tired and wants to destroy their fans once and for all.

Hair Stylist Risks

Hair Stylist Risks Contracting Corona Virus for $2 Tip

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How much money would it take to get out of your comfort zone and risk your life? For some, life is priceless; you couldn’t pay them a million dollars to risk their health or safety. This is not the case of Amanda Binds. Amanda is a hair stylist from Fullerton, California, and she is willing to stand on the front lines of disease for a $2 tip. The hair stylist risks her life every day to cut hair. Biological warfare could not keep Amanda away from making some bank. Amanda made a fatal mistake by assuming clients would tip more to compensate for the current situation involving the corona virus pandemic. Clients have been tipping Amanda on average about $2 per styling session.

Hair Stylist Risks Everything To Make A Couple Bucks

When we reached out to Amanda, she told us “I assumed people would compensate me for risking my life. Sometimes I even try to guilt the client and mention that I risked my life to do this session. The client will act like they understand, but then tip me only $2. Is my life only worth $2? I think my life is worth at least $7”. You go Amanda. Keep standing up for yourself and proving your worth. Ms. Binds has rent to pay, and hopefully those $2 add up sooner than later.

Realible World News will be keeping an eye on this story as it develops. If anyone is in the same situation as Amanda, please reach out for an interview with the Realible News team.

Update: Amanda Binds has contracted Covid-19. We are saddened by this news. Hopefully Amanda can gather together all those $2 tips and pay for her medical coverage. I am sure she has put aside plenty for emergencies. Good luck Amanda, we hope you recover well.

Realible World News

4th Of July Cured Covid-19, Here’s How

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Although cases of the covid-19 virus has increased since America’s favorite holiday took place, Corona Virus death rates have decreased massively. It is possible that the American people have found a way to survive the virus thanks to the 4th of July. Did the 4th of July really cure Covid-19?

What has protected the American people from corona deaths is likely related to Independence Day. The main factor contributing to increased survival rate is possiblly patriotism. The American people have used pure patriotism to survive the deadly virus. BBQ food and alcoholic beverages likely also contributed to surviving the corona virus. Alcoholic beverages sharing the name with the virus are most likely the most effective. Independent research also suggests that the more blind the patriotism the better.

What Do Patriots Think About The 4th Of July And Covid-19?

We mananged to interview a survivor of the corona virus. A very lucky middle-aged bald man sporting an American wife-beater said that “the corona virus is a hoax. I just caught a common cold, the test is a hoax”. When asked why he is so patriotic at a time like this, the American man explained that “America can do no wrong. If anyone has a problem with it, they are just sheep”. Thank you American man for this exclusive interview.

Another theory suggested by Research is that the fireworks littering the skies during Independence Day likely scared away the deadly virus. Research explains this with an analogy exclaiming to “imagine many little dogs on the 4th of July scared of fireworks and running away. Okay now just imagine many little viruses scared of fireworks and running away. There is no major difference between fireworks and viruses”. It is hard to argue with Research after bringing up such a deeply thought out analogy.

We at Realible World News will be sure to keep the world posted as new information unfolds. Realible World News, where news is realible all the time, every time.