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Smash Mouth Attempts to Murder Their Fanbase

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Smash Mouth should have retired long ago. With their 26 year history, their one song “All Star” is all they have to show. Their only claim to fame is being part of the Shrek soundtrack. Nonetheless, they are still performing today and not even a global pandemic stops them from disappointing the masses. Their newest stunt involves murdering their few die hard fans that are left. After realizing their core audience is in South Dakota, the state so boring people have resorted to Smash Mouth, they found their target.

Smash Mouth’s Murder Plot

During a time when people are supposed to be distancing themselves, why would a band host a major concert? The only reason is to kill off their fans. Since Smash Mouth feels they’ve been severely under appreciated by the masses, their goal is to kill as many people as possible and get away with it. This is their only opportunity to kill and get away with it. A packed audience at a concert is a surefire way for COVID-19 to efficiently infect as many people as possible. Audience members only inches apart spitting and sweating all over each other, the band is certain there will be hundreds of new cases after their show. Since their fans are a little older in age, the band is certain many of the cases will be fatal.

Smash Mouth is confident they will face no legal repercussions for this. Despite it going against CDC guidelines, since there is no reason to go to a concert with raising virus numbers, responsibility falls on the attendees. Nonetheless, the band is receiving backlash. Frontman Steve Harwell yelling “We’re all here together tonight! F*** that COVID s***!” shows their blatant disregard for any health concerns.

The disgruntled Smash Mouth is eagerly awaiting the data on how many lives they’ve ruined. It seems like a self destructive move, but Smash Mouth is tired and wants to destroy their fans once and for all.

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Man Wearing Black Lives Matter Shirt Celebrates The Death Of Herman Cain

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In a hypocritical move, a handful of Black Lives Matter activist seem to be celebrating the death of a black man. One would think that activists for Black Lives Matter would celebrate all black lives, whether someone is a successful business man and father, or a single man that fell on hard times and did some time. All black lives should matter, period. This is where the narrative seems to get confused. If you were to look at social media trends, you’d see many people celebrating the death of a black man over having different opinions. Herman Cain was a republican, avid Trump supporter, and was often spotted not wearing a mask, but does this make his life not matter? Your life should matter regardless of your opinion, your past, or your criminal record; this should hold true through most circumstances.

We interviewed a disgruntled Twitter user who said “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Herman Cain was not wearing a mask at a Trump rally and now he paid the price. He should have been smart and listened to science”. Science explained to the user that he never told Herman Cain personally to wear a mask, but he understands the concerns. The irony is definitely there, but to celebrate the death of a man who was beloved in the work place and in his community is cruel; this argument is the equivalent to laughing at the death of a reckless driver or a daredevil. People do risky things all the time, but it doesn’t make their death any more deserved.

Realible World News will keep an eye on this controversial story as it develops.