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Neil Drunkman

Neil Drunkman Admits He Was Completely Wasted While Writing The Last Of Us 2

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Naughty Dog’s The Last of Us Part II was a huge success in both sales and in accolades. Despite this impressive level of success within the gaming industry, many fans have critiqued the writing and story of the game. Many of the complaints are related to convenient story lines, plot armor, and inconsistent character traits. For some it is more simply. The previous main character of the first game is killed off almost immediately within the long-awaited sequel. This left a bad taste in the mouths of many fans that were eager to see his story continue. Neil Drunkman was blamed for many of these complaints.

For the last year, speculation has run rampant on how the story telling dropped so drastically in quality. Was it do to pushing political narratives? Was the co-writer to blame? We now know the real reason why The Last of Us Part II has a drastic difference in writing quality. Neil Drunkman revealed everything in our exclusive interview at the Celebrity Dungeon.

Neil Drunkman: Exclusive Interview

Dr. Williams: Hello Mr. Drunkman. Thank you for taking the time to come visit today.

Neil Drunkman: It wasn’t exactly my choice, but you’re welcome.

Williams: Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how inspired I am by you.

Drunkman: Really? That is quite flattering to hear.

Williams: Yes really. Last year I played through The Last of Us Part II and it was a wild ride to say the least.

Drunkman: We really wanted the game to feel like an emotional rollercoaster rather than a video game. Consider it a trip to Six Flags rather than a round of Call of Duty.

Why Did Neil Drunkman Divide The Fanbase?

Williams: Yeah sure. Anyways, I was impressed by your ability to absolutely disregard everything anyone wanted from a sequel to the beloved first game. You really just did your own thing and totally shattered a fanbase. I respect your ability to just not care about your loyal fans or their expectations. What is your secret?

Drunkman: I didn’t want to be predictable. I didn’t want to release the game everyone wanted. If it takes dividing up the fanbase, so be it. Art cannot come at the cost of the perception of the consumers.

The Secret Tip To Writing A Story

Williams: I agree that art shouldn’t be harmed by the perception of others. However, we are not talking about art. We are talking about The Last of Us Part II. So, what was your reason for throwing such a curveball at the fans?

Drunkman: I think it just comes from a stubborn little place inside of me. I just didn’t want to put out a game that could have been predicted. That and alcohol.

Williams: Alcohol!?

Drunkman: Yes. The alcohol helped a lot. I had an entirely different game planned until I got really into whiskey. The lockdown didn’t help at all. I delayed the whole game last second because every time a cracked open some whiskey during lockdown, I would come up with so many intrusive ideas. I couldn’t disobey the whiskey.

The Original Version of The Last of Us Part II

Williams: You are telling me that we almost got a completely different game?

Drunkman: Correct. The original pitch for The Last of Us Part II was probably something the fans would have loved. There was one problem though. The whiskey hated it. Every time I drank I just thought to myself “Is this really the game I want to make?”. So I let go of all expectations and just created my new character. I wanted her to destroy Ellie, but I didn’t want Ellie to die either. If this comes off as “convenient” or “plot armor” so be it.

Williams: Wow Mr. Drunkman. You have really inspired me. I think I will start drinking whiskey at work now too. Imagine all the critical acclaim and accolades I will receive from all of my whiskey fueled ideas. I am more inspired by you than ever. Thank you again for stopping by. Keep on sipping that whiskey.

Drunkman: *Laughs for 4 minutes straight* You are hilarious Dr. Williams. I don’t sip whiskey these days. I absolute chug it. Get ready for The Last of Us Part III. I am writing it right now! I have four bottles of whiskey waiting at home with my name on it.

Williams: I am beyond excited for that one. I hope you kill off every single likeable character.

That was an incredible interview. Thank you again Neil Drunkman for coming by the Celebrity Dungeon for a wonderful interview. He truly is an inspiration to the gaming and writing industry. Did you enjoy the interview? Are you excited for The Last of Us Part III? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

Taylor Lautner Interview

Taylor Lautner Interview: Losing Shark Boy Broke His Heart

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No one expected this one. Shark Boy and Lava Girl are back. The dynamic duo will be appearing in ‘We Can Be Heroes’, the new film penned by ‘Shark Boy and Lava Girl’ writer Robert Rodriguez. The pair even have a child together named Guppy. Fans were excited to see them return. but the hype soon dwindled. Fans were disappointed to learn that Taylor Lautner would not be returning as Shark Boy. This news is upsetting, but no one is as upset as Taylor Lautner is. He reached out for an interview with us just so he could get some stuff off his chest. We let him vent, and he gave us all the juicy details. This is our exclusive interview with Taylor Lautner.

Exclusive Interview With Taylor Lautner: Losing Shark Boy Sure Bites

Dr. Williams: Hello Taylor. Thank you for joining us today. Make yourself at home, and please ignore the screams throughout these halls.

Taylor Lautner: I basically made a career out of ignoring screaming fan girls. This should be easy for me.

Dr. Williams: *Chuckles* Charming little devil are you. So anyways, I will let you vent shortly, but I would like to start by asking you a serious question.

Taylor Lautner: Anything. Go for it.

Dr. Williams: What did it feel like when Kanye ruined your moment at the 2009 MTV Music Awards.

Taylor Lautner: That wasn’t me… That was Taylor Swift. She is one of my ex girlfriends actually.

Dr. Williams: I too like to imagine myself as a girl and then also imagine myself dating myself. I understand you completely. Okay I will let you take the floor now. What did you want to talk about today?

How Losing Shark Boy Ruined His Life

Taylor Lautner: I just needed someone to vent to. I heard you were the right doctor for the job.

Dr. Williams: Sure thing. I can listen. I usually charge $200 an hour, but for you, I will only charge $180.

Taylor Lautner: Okay… I will assume that was a joke. But yeah, I wanted to talk about that new movie with Shark Boy in it. I was disgusted when I saw the promotion. How can someone else be Shark Boy? I have been method acting for 15 years to play the role. There is no Taylor Lautner anymore, only Shark Boy remains.

Dr. Williams: Wow. I assumed you were ashamed of that role. Are you trying to tell me that Shark Boy was really your muse and your reason to live?

Taylor Lautner: Yes. Yes I am. Shark Boy is the reason I wake up in the morning. I have been waiting my whole life for a second shot at the role, and now the time finally comes and it is ripped away from me.

Why Wasn’t Taylor Lautner Invited Back?

Dr. Williams: Wow. You really needed this huh? So what happened Taylor? Why didn’t Robert Rodriguez bring you back? What did you do? Is he not a fan of your music?

Taylor Lautner: I didn’t expect to be victim blamed for coming here today, but okay. Also, once again, I do not make music. Maybe I should though? Anyways, I am not sure why Robert didn’t hit me back up. Perhaps he got sick of me always pestering him to make a sequel. I must admit, I became a bit obsessed. On Christmas of last year I sent him a Christmas card of me dressed up as Shark Boy. I thought he would find it charming, but instead he asked me to leave him alone.

Dr. Williams: It almost sounds like he is bringing Shark Boy back just to spite you.

Taylor Lautner’s Future Plans

Taylor Lautner: That’s what I thought! I hope this movie bombs. I can be petty too. Maybe I will release music. I will make a new song about Max sleeping. It will be uncensored. No more “little bleeps”. I am going to call him a little [Redacted] as always intended.

Dr. Williams: Yikes. We will have to censor that. Saying that word could get us cancelled. I do like your enthusiasm though. Take on a new identity. Shark Boy isn’t Shark Boy because he was written to be. Shark Boy is Shark Boy because you made him that way. Your acting brought him to life. No one can take that from you. Take this passion and turn it into a whole new super hero.

Taylor Lautner: Wow that was inspiring. Thank you Dr. Williams. You really are the best at what you do. Call me Crab Man from here on out. I will become my own super hero. The one I always imagined.

Dr. Williams: Sure thing Crab Man. See I am already starting!

Crab Man: *Laughs for 7 minutes* You crack me up Dr. Williams. You always know what to say.

Dr. Williams: Go spread your crabs around Crab Man! The world will know you soon enough.

Crab Man: *Laughs for another 7 minutes* That is why I wasn’t invited back! I spread my crabs around the set of Twilight. You know me so well.

Dr. Williams: Well now I sure do! Take it easy Crab Man. We will see you next time.

Wow! Was that an interview or a therapy session? What did you think of our exclusive interview with Taylor Lautner? Comment down below and let us know who we should interview next. See you next time.

Jason Bateman Interview

Jason Bateman Interview: The Tragic Fate Of Marty Byrd

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Ozark is close to its end. The fourth and final season will be coming to Netflix next year. The show only increases in quality as time goes by, so fans are highly anticipating the release of season four. This has most viewers wondering, what will become of Marty Byrd? We were able to score an exclusive interview with Jason Bateman. Lucky for us, he had five rounds of old fashions with us before our interview. We were able to get Mr. Bateman to spill all the beans. Spoiler alert, as here comes a ton of Ozark spoilers. This is our exclusive interview with Jason Bateman.

Exclusive Interview With Jason Bateman: The Ending Of Ozark Revealed

Dr. Williams: Hello Mr. Bates. I am so excited to have you here with us today.

Jason Bateman: Did you just give me a nickname?

Dr. Williams: No, I thought your last name was Bates. My apologies. I hope you can forgive me, and that we can move forward with this interview.

Jason Bateman: *Laughs for 3 minutes* You’re kidding. You are such a jokester. You know my last name! Don’t be sure a comedian. I am glad to be here.

Dr. Williams: That was a close one. Anyways, I have been re-watching Arrested Development and I have to say it. I totally see Michael Bluth and Marty Byrd as the exact same human being.

Arrested Development X Ozark?

Jason Bateman: Are you saying I have no range as an actor? *chuckles and grins*

Dr. Williams: Of course not. I am suggesting that this isn’t a coincidence. Everyone knows you love Arrested Development. Do you have some head canon regarding Michael Bluth and his similarities to Marty Byrd?

Jason Bateman: Oh I for sure do. In my mind, Marty Byrd is Michael Bluth. I just took the character and went an alternate direction with it. Consider this a story of what would happen if Michael Bluth got into some cartel business.

Ozark’s Striking Similarities To Breaking Bad

Dr. Williams: Thank you for finally clearing this up. So basically you wrote a show that combines Arrested Development and Breaking Bad and just passed it off as your own thing?

Jason Bateman: Yeah pretty much. I consider myself a huge fan of both, and I kind of just wanted to combine my two favorite series. Ozark is basically just a giant fanfic.

Dr. Williams: So this isn’t a coincidence? The show is purposely similar to Breaking Bad?

Jason Bateman: Oh totally. In my head canon, Walter White is creating meth as Marty Byrd (aka Michael Bluth) is laundering money. The whole thing just really comes together when you think about it. I hope one day Breaking Bad’s canon acknowledges us.

Dr. Williams: Wow that sure sounds like a pipe dream. Thank you for being so honest today. Speaking of being honest, would you be able to give us a little peek into season four of Ozark?

Ozark Season Four: The Fate Of Marty Byrd

Jason Bateman: Of course I can. In fact I can’t hold it in any longer. Can I just tell you off the record what is going to happen?

Dr. Williams: That is a great idea. I am going to shut off the cameras and put away my notes. Give me everything!

Jason Bateman: *Laughs in excitement* Oh yeah! That is what I like to hear. Let’s get another old fashion first, and then we can have story time.

*some time passes*

Dr. Williams: Alright how about we get into it. Mr. Bateman what do you have planned for Ozark season four?

Jason Bateman: We are pulling all the shots. We are going out with a bang. Breaking Bad only had five seasons, and we are aiming for four. We will one up them on this one.

Dr. Williams: That’s the spirit Mr. Bateman. So how do you plan to do this? What exactly will happen to the Byrd family?

Ozark’s Final Season: All Is Revealed

Jason Bateman: The final season of Ozark will be the darkest ending a show could ever have. I purposely watched a ton of horror films just to get some nasty thoughts.

Dr. Williams: Wow this sounds intense! Please tell me more.

Jason Bateman: Marty Byrd (AKA Michael Bluth) is going to go absolutely insane. He will have to commit the worst acts he has ever done in order to survive this one.

Dr. Williams: What happens exactly?

Jason Bateman: As alluded to at the end of season three, both his wife Wendy and his son Jonah are going off the deep end. The finale will pin the family against each other. They survived the cartel, but can their survive each other?

Dr. Williams: Wow this one again sounds like Breaking Bad. Walter White gets in a physical altercation with his wife and son. Is this going to be pretty similar?

Jason Bateman: Oh yeah. It is almost redone scene for scene. That is until we one up them and go even further.

Dr. Williams: Wow okay what happens next?

Who Survives The Finale Of Ozark?

Jason Bateman: Marty (AKA Michael) will have to kill Wendy and Jonah just to survive. They have lost their minds, and the innocent wife and son he used to have are no more. Charlotte will show up after, and she will be forced to either end Marty as well, or accept the loss and move on.

Dr. Williams: Well don’t stop now. What happens?

Jason Bateman: Well Walter White died, so of course Marty Byrd (AKA Michael Bluth) dies as well.

Dr. Williams: I should have known.

Jason Bateman: Yep, Charlotte shots him and kills him. The show ends with Charlotte driving off with tons of money.

Dr. Williams: Sounds a lot like what Jesse Pinkman did.

Jason Bateman: It sure does. So what do you think?

Dr. Williams: I think we need another old fashion!

Dr. Williams And Jason Bateman Share Another Drink

Jason Bateman: *Laughs for 8 minutes straight* Man, we need to have out more after this.

Dr. Williams: We sure do! Thank you for spilling the beans today Jason. Let’s go get another round of drinks.

Jason Bateman: Any time Dr. Williams! Let’s do it!

Wow that was the most fun interview I have ever done. I hope Jason doesn’t get mad at me for posting these spoilers. I would love to get some more old fashions with him!

What did you think of our exclusive interview with Jason Bateman? Are you excited for the final season of Ozark? Let us know in the comments.

Last week we interviewed Kanye West. Who should we interview next?

Kanye West Interview

Kanye West Interview: So, About That Election

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Kanye West is a man that just can’t seem to avoid the spotlight. Nearly a day doesn’t go by without him trending on social media sites. Despite having so much influence on social media, and 30.9 million followers on Twitter alone, it seems like these followers did not support his run for President of The United States. How can someone with so many “followers” have so little support? This is the part where lines are blurred. Is it possible to follow someone over their successful career, but not support them during another venture? We will discuss this phenomenon with Kanye West himself. We have learned a lot about Kanye West recently, but today we will learn a lot more. No other interview with Kanye West has occurred since his Presidential run. This is our exclusive interview with rap star, family man, devout Christian, and Presidential candidate, Kanye West

Exclusive Interview With Kanye West: The Election, God, And More.

Dr. Williams: Today we are speaking with Kanye West about his 2020 Presidential campaign. Thank you so much for coming in today Kanye.

Kanye West: Yeah man. Thank you for having me. I had some free time on my hands that I didn’t expect to have today, which is unfortunate.

Dr. Williams: Oh wow. Sounds like it is a miracle we get to speak today. Did you have a fun little Friendsgiving planned for something? What were you supposed to do today?

Kanye West’s Election Day Plans

Kanye West: I was supposed to be in the White House. I didn’t expect to have time today other than maybe some press conferences or something. Maybe shake hands with the losers. I don’t know. I just didn’t expect to have time for something like Realible World News.

Dr. Williams: Oh I see. You really thought you might have won. I figured you just did this for publicity or attention or something. Anyways what made you believe you could have actually won? You were not on the ballot in every state, and you also announced your run incredibly late. Can you have me from insight into this thought process?

God’s Prophecy

Kanye West: Well it is very simple. God told me I was going to win. God is never wrong. I know it looked unlikely, but I also knew he couldn’t possible be wrong. If God says I am destined to win, I am destined to win. I made sure I was free to visit the White House today regardless.

Dr. Williams: So God told you that you would win? It sounds like God isn’t very good at bets.

Kanye West: He is very good at taking bets. Everything I have is because of God. It was my own errors that caused me to lose. You see, God wasn’t wrong. I was wrong. When God told me I would be President of The United States, he meant in 2024. I rushed the process, and I shouldn’t have. I was just too excited. 2020 was not the election I was supposed to win. God wanted me to learn the ropes now, so I can win in 2024. He just works that way man.

Kanye West 2024 Presidential Campaign

Dr. Williams: That is very inspiring Kanye. I think you already have my vote next election. Now can you give me some insight on your platform? What exactly are your policies based around? I haven’t been able to find much throughout my research, and you don’t belong to a major party. It seems like I am unable to base my opinions of you upon some sort of generic grouping.

Kanye West: I am all about the Birthday Party. America is supposed to be one giant party, and it will finally happen in 2024. Left wing or right wing, everyone has fun at a birthday party. It is nearly impossible not to have fun at one of those things. Now imagine if God was invited and attended this party. That would be the perfect party. This is exactly what I want to do in 2024.

Dr. Williams: Wow that told me absolutely nothing when it comes to your policies, but it sure sounds fun and exciting. You have my vote for sure.

Kanye West: Hey thanks man. I hope everyone else can join the Birthday Party soon. I think we have a lot to offer.

Dr. Williams: Yeah like party favors.

Kanye West: Yeah exactly. See you get it.

Kanye West’s Attitudes Over The 2020 Election

Dr. Williams: I love your enthusiasm for the 2024 Presidential election, but that is so far away. Let’s back up a bit to last night. There are memes going around showing you alone watching the results on television. Did you have a rough night? Also, were you actually alone throughout this defeat?

Kanye West: Of course I wasn’t alone, that was just a picture. People do stuff like that for laughs and clout man.

Dr. Williams: Oh! That is great news. I am glad you weren’t alone. Who was with you through out this anxiety inducing night?

Kanye West: God.

Dr. Williams: Oh.

Kanye West: God was with me all not. He just wasn’t pictured. God was smiling and in a good mood. I knew he knew something I didn’t quite understand. He wasn’t upset I lost. I thought at the time he was just glad Trump was in the lead, but then it hit me. God knows my time is coming next year. The results of the 2020 Presidential election doesn’t matter to him. I will be President of the United States as planned in 2024.

Kanye And His Relationship With God

Dr. Williams: Wow God sounds like he is a huge fan of you.

Kanye West: That is what our relationship is like. We just bounce off of each other and play off of each other. Like in the studio I will have this great idea, and he will shoot me a new line that backs it up so well. Sometimes God has a good lyric and I like create a flow that just perfects it. God and I are both fans of each other and our chemistry is amazing.

Dr. Williams: That is incredible. We are all out of time today, but do you have any announcements in regards to the 2024 Presidential election?

Kanye West’s Vice President Announcement For His 2020 Presidential Run

Kanye West: Actually I do. I would like to announce my Vice President for the 2024 Presidential run today.

Dr. Williams: Wow. I feel so lucky to be the first to break the news. Who will be your Vice President and running mate Kanye?

Kanye West: God. Kanye/God will be the greatest match up in the history of the United States of America. We hope to see much success.

Dr. Williams: Holy cow. God has to be the best running mate someone could ever hope for. You totally have my vote Kanye. I wouldn’t want to anger God!

Kanye West: *Laughs for 7 minutes straight* Man I wouldn’t want to anger God either. Hopefully the general public feels the same way.

Dr. Williams: *Laughs for 2 minutes straight* I sure hope so too Kanye. You are a cool dude. I anticipate your 2024 Presidential run.

Kanye West: Thank you. See ya.

Wow that was an incredible interview. Did you enjoy our interview with Kanye West? Do you anticipate the Kanye and God Presidential campaign? Let us know in the comments.

Chris Pratt Interview

Chris Pratt Interview: How To Cheat The Christian Way

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Last month Chris Pratt released his memoir “The Christian Guide To Cheating” and it was a huge success. We spoke to Chris Pratt and reported on his ways to cheat the Christian way. In this interview we check back in with Chris Pratt and discuss the success of the memoir, the history of it, and also how he is dealing with recent controversies.

Exclusive Interview With Chris Pratt: The Christian Guide To Cheating

Dr. Williams: Hello Chris. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk today. We loved talking with you last month about your memoir. First off, how are you doing today Chris?

Chris Pratt: I am not doing to well. Last week I was nearly canceled. Can you believe it is illegal to be Christian these days? I feel like Jesus. Being persecuted for my beliefs. I don’t want to compare myself to Jesus, but I am pretty much exactly like him in every way.

The Cancelation Of Christianity

Dr. Williams: I also see the similarities between you and Jesus. I am sorry that all Christians are being canceled right now. This witch hunt is truly terrifying. What are your thoughts about this whole thing?

Chris Pratt: Honestly I just don’t understand it. I grew up in a world where we preached acceptance and religious freedom, and now I am being punished for my beliefs. Religion is not something I bring into work or anywhere. I literally play a slimy space pirate in Guardians of the Galaxy. My own personal beliefs should not be brought up on Twitter if I am not shoving it down people’s throats.

Dr. Williams: I agree Chris. Especially since you are such a cool Christian. You are open minded in so many ways. Most Christian men would never be brave enough to talk about Christian cheating and space pirates. You are truly an inspiration to loose Christians everywhere.

Chris Pratt: Thank you Dr. Williams. This is exactly what I am going for. I try to be the most relatable Christian I can be. If I can inspire even one many to forgo the Christian ways of the past and be more like me, then well I did my job.

Dr. Williams: You truly are an inspiration. I am going to start calling you Jesus Jr. here on out. Okay Jesus Jr. on to the next question. How do you feel about your memoir “The Christian Guide To Cheating” one month after release? Do you still hold those beliefs fondly?

The Christian Guide To Cheating

Jesus Jr: Thank you so much for bringing this up. Honestly this is the greatest thing I have ever created. My kids and my movies come second to this helpful guide. It really renewed my life. Some Christian men might feel like they need to renew their vows to spice up a dying marriage, but I disagree. The best way to renew your life is to follow the Christian guide to cheating. I feel like a new man. My confidence has never been higher, and I read this book like the Bible.

Dr. Williams: Wow. I also am a huge fan of your memoir. Honestly I read it every night before bed. My Wife must have loved your guide as well, because she recently cheated on me as well. I am just glad you could help her out. This advice is not just for men, it is for all Christians. Is there anything you wish you mentioned in your memoir but forgot? Any new tips?

Jesus Jr: If getting canceled taught me anything, it is that everyone is teetering on the edge of cancelation. Canceling wouldn’t exist if Jesus didn’t want it to. My advice would be to just rip off the Band-Aid. Stop living a lie and just live the Christian life you want. Upgrade to a hot new wife, get a cool new terminator step-father, and just really enjoy life. No one sticks with a PS4, everyone will upgrade to the PS5. This is how I think about family. If Jesus didn’t want me to get laid, he wouldn’t have introduced such a great new woman into my life. Long story short, just follow the life set in front of you, as it is a gift from the Lord.

The Future And More

Dr. Williams: Wow this is exactly what I hoped to hear from you today Jesus Jr. Before we go I wanted to get your thoughts on the future of your memoir, as well as your cancelation. How is the future looking for you?

Jesus Jr: Honestly the future looks rough. I have been dealt some undeserved consequences just for living the life I want to live. I will never let Jesus down, and I refuse to ignore the gifts he grants me in my life. If I am to be punished for the bounty that Jesus lays before me, then so be it. I am going to keep living my life the Christian way. I hope to release more helpful guides. Stay tuned for my next novel “The Christian Guide To Homophobia”. I am not homophobic, but I have a lot to teach.

Dr. Williams: Wow you sound like you are just asking to get canceled. I really can’t see anyone defending you here on out, but I respect your ability to just go for it. You are a real go-getter Jesus Jr.

Jesus Jr: Haha wow Jesus Jr. sure has a nice ring to it. I think I will change my Twitter handle to that.

Dr. Williams: Thank you for the interview today Chris. I can’t wait to cheat the Christian way here on out.

Jesus Jr: *Laughs for 4 minutes straight* You are too much Dr. Williams. Thank you for following me so blindly. I will see you next time.

What did you think of our exclusive interview with Chris Pratt, I mean Jesus Jr? Let us know in the comments who we should interview next.

Breaking Benjamin Interview

Breaking Benjamin Interview Reveals Why Ben Doesn’t Sing Anymore

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Today we finally learn why Breaking Benjamin singer Benjamin Burnley doesn’t sing on stage anymore. It seems like every year Benjamin sings less and less of his own parts live. We had the nerve to ask him why in this exclusive interview with Breaking Benjamin’s Benjamin Burnley.

Exclusive Interview With Benjamin Burnley Of Breaking Benjamin

Dr. Williams: Hello Bengerman. Thank you for joining in for this interview. How are you today?

Benjamin Burnley: First of all, my name is Benjamin. It is a very common name.

Dr. Williams: Benjamin? Like Benjamin Franklin?

Benjamin Burnley: Sure, like Benjamin Franklin…

Dr. Williams: I thought it was Bengerman like Ben and then German like Germany.

Benjamin Burnley: Nope

Dr. Williams: Okay that means I need to throw away three of my questions I had for you. I still have some though.

Benjamin Burnley: Okay…

Why Doesn’t Ben Sing On Stage As Much Anymore?

Dr. Williams: So Benjamin, when touring for Breaking Benjamin, why is it that you don’t sing on stage as much anymore? Are you utilizing a talented band, or are you just lazy?

Benjamin Burnley: Thank you for asking this question. I have been waiting years for someone to ask, I almost thought no one had noticed. I just love screwing with my fans. For some reason they demand I sing every single word. At first I thought it was a reasonable concern, but it started getting annoying. I would have Aaron, our guitarist, scream along to a deep cut track. I thought fans would love it, but everyone just went “Where’s Ben!?” and I was like okay.

Dr. Williams: So basically you just wanted to get a rise out of people?

Benjamin Burnley: Not people. Just the fans who care for some reason. Reasonable people would just come to the concert and have a good time. If I was to do every single line of every single song I would just double the ticket price. I am just trying to have a good time and keep my voice working. We put our hearts into every single show we play. If it bothers you so much that I have my bandmates sing too, then I don’t know what to tell you.

Dr. Williams: This seems reasonable to me Ben. Is there anything else you do to screw with your fans?

What Other Things Does Ben Do To Screw With Fans?

Benjamin Burnley: Oh totally. I have the back of the house watch for audience members taking pictures or videos. I have them hit the lights and completely shroud me in darkness. Like the whole stage is lit up, but I am in shadows. Everyone has been so confused about this, but I find it hilarious.

Dr. Williams: Wow that is funny. You are a prankster God. You should give out lessons. Is there anything off the stage you have done to screw with fans?

Benjamin Burnley: Oh yeah. We recently released an album full of re-worked songs. We made it kind of a top hits album, but not at the same time.

Dr. Williams: What do you mean by this?

Benjamin Burnley: Well we put almost every major single we have done in the past, but left out a couple major ones just to screw with people. Like we added Dance With The Devil, which is one of our top songs on spotify, but it was never a single or anything. On the other hand, we completely ignored Polyamorous which was a huge single and our breakthrough song. We basically ignored a whole chunk of our history and fans were upset.

Dr. Williams: Wow and you did this exclusively to screw with them?

Benjamin Burnley: Yep. I even kind of wanted to add the track, but imagining the fans upset really made me want to leave it off.

Dr. Williams: Wow that is hilarious! You really do know how to prank people Benjamin. Any ways before we go, is there any news on a new album?

Is A New Album In The Works?

Benjamin Burnley: Great question. Unfortunately I can’t say anything to you. This would bring the fans satisfaction. I like to talk about nothing until it happens. In fact I often say we aren’t working on anything just to screw with them. I even pretend to go on a little hiatus. It is funny and it keeps the fans wanting more.

Dr. Williams: I understand completely. That is even better than getting exclusive details of the album for my website. You truly are a comedy God. Thank you so much for this interview Benjamin. Keep on rocking you sexy beast.

Benjamin Burnley: *Laughs for 4 minutes straight* Of course. Thank you for letting me get some stuff off my chest. I will see you tonight.

Wow that was a hilarious interview. Benjamin Burnley is a riot. What did you think of Ben’s guilty pleasures? Did you enjoy this exclusive interview with Breaking Benjamin’s Benjamin Burnley? Let us know in the comments

Chris Martinet Gay Bowser

Charles Martinet Gay Bowser Line Origins Revealed: Exclusive Interview

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Charles Martinet is an incredible voice actor. He voiced Mario, Luigi, baby Mario, baby Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, and even Toadsworth. His voice acting spans generations, and he likely touched the hearts of children world wide. The most memorable part of growing up was hearing “so long, Gay Bowser!” for the first time. I hear it everywhere I go. I cannot get this important phrase from my childhood out of my head. Now we have a chance to discover the origins of this legendary phrase. The phrase was unfortunately removed from Super Mario 3D All-Stars, but it will remain in our hearts forever. This is our exclusive interview with Charles Martinet on Gay Bowser, getting into character, and more.

Exclusive Interview With Charles Martinet On Gay Bowser And More

Dr. Williams: Hello Chris. Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us today. How are you doing?

Charles Martinet: You’re welcome Dr. Richards. Woo-hoo! I’ma doin’ fine! Let’s jump right in! Lets’a go!

How Does He Get Into Character?

Dr. Williams: Wow I love your enthusiasm. I am sure it will become exhausting shortly though. Okay, so my first question is this. How do you get into character every day?

Charles Martinet: That is a great question. I love doing Italian voices. When I was younger I would make fun of the Italian kids in class. I would imitate their voices and make it hype nauseating. Exaggerating their nasally voice was the funniest part to me. The whole class would laugh. One Italian kid even moved shortly after. It was worth it for the laughs though. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Dr. Williams: Wow that sounds hilarious! It seems like it may have harmed those kids though, but I believe comedy opportunities should come before comfort.

Charles Martinet: I agree completely. I wouldn’t be where I am at today if I didn’t use these silly voices.

How Did “So Long Gay Bowser” Happen?

Dr. Williams: My next question is the one I have been waiting my whole life to hear. Where did that so long Gay Bowser line come from? It is hilarious. It made my whole childhood wonderful. In fact, it is my favorite line of all time. Was that in the script? Was it improv? Did you sneak it in?

Charles Martinet: Oh yeah. That was all me. I couldn’t stop laughing after recording that line. No one understood why it was so funny. I think they didn’t know what I was saying. They left it in and I have been laughing ever since. I got the idea from when I used to tease kids in school. I would call my teacher “Gay Teacher” and I would call kids that were bad at sports “Gay Loser”. It was all in good fun. I thought Mario would be playful and tease Bowser as well.

His Thoughts On The Removal Of “So Long Gay Bowser”

Dr. Williams: Wow that was incredibly interesting Chris. How do you feel about the removal of the line in Super Mario 3D All-Stars? It broke my heart when Mario said “bye-bye”. It just didn’t feel like Mario. No emotion, no fun, no tease, no heart, no soul.

Charles Martinet: My name is Charles, but yes I was devastated. I do understand though. 2020 is a different time than 1996. Back in the 90’s gay was the funniest word in the world. Everything was gay. Your dog was gay, your car was gay, a meal was gay. Everyone and everything was gay. It was just so funny. Now you can’t say that. I understand why you can’t say that, but I still miss the funny moments it would bring.

Dr. Williams: Wow thank you so much for taking our call today. We hope you have a great day. So long Gay Charles!

Charles Martinet: *Laughs for 8 minutes straight* That was hilarious! One more time for old times sake. So Long Gay Bowser! Wa-hoo!

That was a great interview. The secret to “so long Gay Bowser” is now revealed. We finally know why Charles Martinet said Gay Bowser. I am glad to be part of such a great day in gaming history. What did you think of the big reveal? Let us know in the comments.

This interview was featured in an episode of ‘Celebrity Dungeon’. You can watch the interview down below.

Donald Trump Covid Interview

Donald Trump Interview Reveals How He Beat Covid In One Easy Step

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Donald Trump has amazed the world yet again. This time the President of the United States managed to completely destroy Covid-19 in only three days. This sounds impossible for someone his age, but Donald Trump has proved his strength once again. Now Realible World News has the exclusive interview with Donald Trump post-Covid.

Post-Covid Interview With Donald Trump

Dr. Williams: Good morning Mr. President. How are you feeling today?

Donald Trump: I am doing *coughs* great *coughs*, my apologies. Is there a cat in here? I might be allergic to cats. I am also allergic to democrats.

Dr. Williams: No sir, there are neither cats nor democrats in this room. We don’t allow cats on set, and we democrat proofed the windows ages ago.

How is the POTUS feeling post-Covid?

Donald Trump: *Coughs* Okay great, anyways. I am doing good thank you. Great even. Maybe better than ever. Most people take two weeks to recover from Covid, but I am not like most people. My DNA is 100% American, and Americans never quit. My antibodies fought around the clock and fought back Covid faster than the world has ever seen *coughs* *coughs again* *coughs for about three minutes* I feel better than ever. I think Covid gave me an excuse to finally rest. No one works harder than me. haven’t had a break in years. For me, work never stops. *coughs* I am working right now as we speak.

How Is Donald Trump 100% American?

Dr. Williams: Thank you for the update on how you are feeling. Anyways we had some questions for you. What exactly does it mean to be 100% American? When it comes to DNA this seems impossible. Was this an official DNA test?

Donald Trump: Correct. I took an official DNA test. *Coughs* The best DNA test in the world. Only someone like me even has access to a DNA test of this status. This DNA test is 100% accurate. *Coughs*

Still Donald Trump: I took the DNA test and my results didn’t say European, or Irish, or British, or cheeto man. My DNA test said American. Not only did it say American, it said 100% American. Big bold letters. *Coughs* You can’t miss it. A blind person could have seen how American I was. My results printed on a Chinese fortune cookie paper. That was all the paper required to print that one line of results. 100% American. 100% is an A. I aced the American test. I may be the first 100% American person registered, but if I am re-elected President of the United States, I know it will be because of other true Americans. They won’t be 100% American like me, but they will be close. *Coughs for 3 minutes*

Dr. Williams: Wow, that was quite the paragraph. I am glad you DNA test came back so positive. Good job on getting a perfect A. So It isn’t about your access to exceptional healthcare?

Donald Trump: No way. My health is a direct response to my American DNA *Coughs for 2 minutes* I didn’t even have to study for this test. Tests come easy for me. Never have I studied for anything. I get 100% on everything I do. Being an American is easy for me.

Dr. Williams: Wow you sure are patriotic. Is there anything else you would like to discuss other than how American you are?

About The Debate

Donald Trump: Yes. *Coughs* I wanted to talk about how non-American other people are. *Coughs*

Dr. Williams: Wow okay. That sounds like a great conversation. So Mr. President. Who do you think is un-American? Do you think Biden would have scored a 100% on the DNA test?

Donald Trump: No way. Biden would get a 0%. Biden could wear an ear piece and be fed the answers and he would still fail the American test. Biden’s DNA is basically Chinese. I don’t mean that as an insult to the Chinese, but as an insult to Biden. *Coughs* That man couldn’t be less American. When he told me to shut up, he told all 100% Americans to shut up. Him and Antifa are just a hate group for 100% Americans. America can’t be taken over by these American haters.

Dr. Williams: Wow. I am glad you are here to protect 100% Americans. I hope my DNA test comes back as American.

Donald Trump: No way. News reporters are never American. You are going to score a 0%. You are European at best. *Coughs* You wouldn’t last a day with Covid. *Coughs* This interview is over. I am too busy to stay and talk *coughs*.

Dr. Williams: Have a great day Mr. President. I would wish you well, but it is obvious that you are completely healed and do not need my support.

Donald Trump: *Coughs for 7 minutes*

Dr. Williams: Have a great rest of your week. Good luck next month.

Let us know what you thought about our Donald Trump Interview. Realible World News will try to get an other interview with the President of the United States in November.

Masahiro Sakurai Interview

Masahiro Sakurai Interview Reveals The Shocking Reason Why DLC Characters Are Primarily Third-Party

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Sakurai is a genius in the world of gaming. The man has created Kirby, Super Smash Brothers, and revived Kid Icarus. Each of these games had a touch of genius and creativity that nothing else could ever come close to. Sakurai has proven that he is in a league of his own, and that he is completely irreplaceable. Today we will be interviewing Sakurai about the latest Super Smash Bros DLC and more. Our Masahiro Sakurai interview has the exclusive juice on future DLC characters, thoughts on Steve in smash, and frustrations with the job.

Masahiro Sakurai Exclusive Interview

Dr. Williams: Hello Sakurai, and thank you for taking the time from your busy schedule to do this interview.

Sakurai: I didn’t take the time at all. I am working as we speak. I am using text-to-speech to communicate while I play as two characters at once.

Dr. Williams: Wow! That is incredibly impressive. I won’t waste any of your time then. Let’s get right into this. How do you feel about the reception of Master Chief coming to Super Smash Brothers?

Sakurai: Master Chief isn’t coming to Super Smash Brothers. We recently announced Steve from Minecraft, not Master Chief.

Dr. Williams: My apologies Sakurai. I heard a Microsoft legend was coming to Super Smash Brothers and I just assumed it was the legendary Master Chief. I think I even saw a photoshopped picture or something. Okay, so how do you feel about fan reception to Steve of mindcraft coming to Super Smash Brothers?

Fan Reception To Steve In Super Smash Brothers Ultimate

Sakurai: Minecraft, but yes the fans were incredibly ungrateful. No one seems to appreciate the work that went into changing every character and every stage to allow Steve’s block placing ability. If I had to do all of this work to add Geno, I am sure their would be headlines praising my hard work.

Dr. Williams: This seems incredibly unfair to you. The hard work you put into every title you work on is a testament to your abilities. Is it possible that you just make it look so easy? We know it isn’t easy, but it is likely that fans just don’t realize the monumental amount of work you pull off.

Sakurai: No way. They don’t care regardless. If Steve was a highly requested character by the hardcore fan base, they would have said I didn’t do enough. The ravenous fans would have said I did him an injustice. They would have asked that I design a fully open work with endless building customizations. My hard work is being under appreciated exclusively due to fans being butt hurt.

Dr. Williams: Why are these fans so butt hurt?

Sakurai: I believe many are butt hurt by Nintendo’s choice because it seems too political. Meaning, they believe Nintendo just wanted to money Steve and Minecraft can bring. These fans aren’t wrong though. That is exactly why Steve is in Super Smash Brothers.

Dr. Williams: Really? There is no real other significant reason?

Sakurai: Nope. It isn’t his legacy, or fan requests, or even moveset potential. It is literally just for money, and I had to rework every character and stage to make it happen.

Why There More Third-Party DLC Characters Than First-Party

Dr. Williams: Why would Nintendo not just have you add more of their own characters? They are all so charming and iconic, and have clearly defined traits with strong moveset potentials.

Sakurai: I think Nintendo is well aware that their characters don’t make money. Who would pay for Funky Kong or Hades? One of the 17,000 people who played Tropic Freeze or Kid Icarus Uprising? I wanted Hades in because I love Kid Icarus. Nintendo loves money more than I love Waddle Dee though, so my characters will likely never see the light of day.

Dr. Williams: Wow that is depression. Waddle Dee, Hades, and Funky Kong are my top requested characters. I guess I will just sit back and hope for my favorite third-party characters.

Sakurai: Don’t get too excited. The next four are just as triggering as Steve. I dread my job every day. I hope I make it to the end of 2021.

Dr. Williams: Wow, well thank you so much for your time. I wish you the best of luck.

Sakurai: Thank you very much for letting me vent. Have a lovely day.

You can watch the announcement video for Steve down below:

Did you enjoy our Masahiro Sakurai interview? We anticipate the release of future Super Smash Brothers Ultimate DLC. Let us know in the comments what you think about Steve from mindcraft being in Super Smash Brothers. Also let us know who you hope to see as the last four third-party characters. We hope to interview Masahiro Sakurai again in the future.

Chris Pratt Exposed

Chris Pratt Exposed, Reveals Most Christian Ways To Cheat

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Chris Pratt exposed! Chris Pratt is a Christian role model in Hollywood. He is considered an icon for his traditional American ways, and his unique brand of publicly broadcasting his religion. Chris Pratt has no shame, which is why he got engaged merely minutes after divorcing his ex. wife. Many fans defend Pratt. They say that he can do whatever he wants after being a religious man. Other fans weren’t so forgiving. These fans saw through the rouse and realized one thing. Chris Pratt cheated on his wife the Christian way. He may not have literally slept with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s daughter before the split, but he might as well have. He slowly planted the seeds of cheating well before the official split.

Pratt did this strategically, and we have the exclusive interview detailing the system. Chris Pratt exposed his secrets to staying out of the spotlight in a negative way, exclusively to Realible World News.

Chris Pratt Exposed: What Are His Christian Guidelines To Cheating?

The Guardian Of The Galaxy Star has Christian cheating down to a science. The man has made himself impossible to criticize and has immortalized himself as a godly man. We spoke with Chris Pratt who revealed his guidelines to Christian cheating. The guidelines are listed below, and are guaranteed to protect you from ridicule.

  1. Always mention God in your Instagram posts. If you divert the attention to God, you take it away from yourself.
  2. Put the blame onto the wife. Say she was too busy raising kids to raise another. Christians love having eight kids.
  3. Say that your popularity is rising and hers is falling. The media loves a positive story. Spin the news to highlight your own success.
  4. Explain that this is all God’s plan. God wants you to leave your wife and kids.
  5. Say that your wife and kids didn’t love God enough. Godless women and children don’t deserve a God fearing man.
  6. Replace your wife with a young hot woman, but never reveal that it is totally about appearances. God doesn’t want you to stay married to someone who’s youth is behind them.
  7. Prove your godliness by marrying the new woman immediately. This will prove that you are all about love and not hot celebrity sex.
  8. Never mention your wife or previous kids again. This can remind people that you abandoned them to begin with. If you just never mention them again, everyone will forget you ever had another family.
  9. Make sure you marry into a powerful family. If you marry into a famous and powerful family the headlines will focus on the upgrade factor.
  10. Keep mentioning God indefinitely. Cheating men don’t mention God. God will protect you forever.

Are The Guidelines Useful For Everyone?

Chris guarantees that if you follow these guidelines, you will be safe from blame forever. Even if you totally were the one who tore your family apart, you will never be blamed.

Realible World News will be sure to expose more celebrity secrets. Stay tuned for more guidelines to help you achieve success.

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